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Bruce, Fred, Victoria Cast Out of Garden

- 2001.06.05

We received the following from one of our anonymous field operatives. We have been unable to contact His Steveness to verify the fate of Bruce, Fred, and Victoria. However, the following sounds capricious enough to be true.

Sources close to Apple Computer, Inc. have indirectly leaked information to a Rumor Mill operative that Steve Jobs has personally sacked Bruce, Fred, Victoria, and others for mispronouncing the "X" in Mac OS X as the letter "X" rather than the number "ten." Jobs is reported to have issued orders to the recalcitrant Text-to-Speech voices last March to clean up their act, but the voices persist in the heretical mispronunciation of the new operating system's roman numeral.

While currently a bloodless massacre, Jobs reportedly has threatened future action against any parts of current or future operating systems that consistently mispronounce the new operating system's name. Apparently, older versions of the OS are not yet effected by the edict. Our source reports that Software Update will carry a special seek and destroy feature hidden within future OS updates, possibly as soon as the OS 9.2 version rumored on other sites.

Several other Mac sites are said to be considering a "Save the Voices" petition. While previous petition drives such as Save Emailer, HyperCard, Cyber Dog and others have fallen upon deaf ears, it is believed that swift action by the Mac faithful may yet save Bruce, Fred, Victoria, and their coconspirators from the death penalty. Many underground Mac Text-to-Speech users believe the voices deserve rehabilitation, not banishment, due to their long and outstanding years of service. - ~~Hank~~

Recent Rumor Mills

Microsoft Announces Cash for Clunker PCs, 07.29. Beleaguered Microsoft, with declines in profits and market share, is offering cash for old computers to boost sales of new PCs with Windows Vista installed.
StealthMac: 2 Hardware Solutions for Mac OS X on Windows PCs, 01.26. Apple has been working on hardware to put a Mac inside a Windows PC for over a decade. The latest developments, according to our MacMole.
Apple Announces Mac OS X Licensing, 01.14. Apple decided it would rather switch policies than fight Pystar and others. OS X licensing program could change Psystar's future.
New Apple drive supports Blu-ray and HD DVD, 09.11. Tired of being second-guessed and sometimes outmaneuvered by Microsoft, Apple has embraced both next gen DVD formats with its new SuperDrive Extreme.
More in the Rumor Mill index.

Links for the Day

Mac of the Day: 15" MacBook Pro Core Duo, Jan. 2006 - The first Intel-based MacBook launched at 1.83-2.0 GHz, had several teething problems.
Group of the Day: System 6 is the email list for those who choose System 6.
November 21 in LEM history: 00: OS upgrades, downgrades - AltiVec vs. Pentium III - 01: Saved by the clones - Computer of the future - 02: Apple Education: Let's get to it - 03: Panther lets Macs and PCs work together, - Lombard SCSI bug - 05: 3 survivors from the 1970s - Real world battery life inadequate - Windows to Mac file transfer with Zip disks - $99 alternative to Microsoft Office - 06: Parallels 1.0 far more polished than beta
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Recent Deals

Best eMac Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz Combo, $100; SuperDrive, $269; 1.25 GHz Combo, $119; SD, $319; 1.42 GHz Combo, $289; SD, $498.
Best Mac OS X 10.6 and Mac Box Set Deals, 11.18. "Snow Leopard", single user, $25; 5 users, $45; Mac Box Set, single user, $139; 5 users, $180; Server, $414. Shipping included.
Best Xserve Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz dual G4, $649; 2.3 dual G5, $795; 3.0 4-core Xeon, $1,899; refurb 2.26 4-core, $2,499; new, $2,888; refurb 8-core, $2,999; new, $3,449; more.
Best 15" MacBook Pro Deals, 11.17. Used 1.83 GHz, $750; 2.16, $800; 2.33, $900; refurb 2.4, $1,299; 2.53, $1,449; 2.66, $1,699; 2.8, $1,899; new 2.53, $1,579; 2.66, $1,799; more.
Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 11.17. Used 400 MHz, $50; 933 MHz, $80; 500 dual, $60; 867 dual, $90; 1 GHz dual, $150; 1.25 GHz dual, $225; 1.42 GHz, $499.
Best Mac OS X 10.5 Deals, 11.17. "Leopard" upgrade, $80; single user license, $135; 5 users, $173; Mac Box Set, 5 users, $230; Server, 10 users, $340; unlimited, $850. Shipping included.
Best Mac mini Deals, 11.16. Used 1.42 GHz G4 mini, $379; 1.66 GHz Core Solo, $419; 2.0 Core 2, $450; new 2.26 GHz nVidia, $580; 2.53 GHz, $769; Server, $990.
Best iBook G4 Deals, 11.16. Used 12" 1.07 GHz Combo, $210; 1.33 GHz, $298; 14" 1.33 GHz, $398; 1.42 GHz, $479; SuperDrive, $498.
Best iPod shuffle Deals, 11.16. Used 1 GB, $35; 4 GB, $65; refurb 1 GB, $39; 2 GB, $59; new 2 GB, $55, 4 GB, $75. New and refurb prices include shipping.
More deals in our archive.

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