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Computer, Tell Me a Joke

27 April 1999 - Evan Kleiman

"Computer, tell me a joke!" you say.

Nothing happens.

Why? Because you didn't install the Speech Recognition software right. A number of things could have gone wrong while doing it, so today we'll learn the right way to install SR on your iMac.

First, to make your iMac use the software, you need a special program that will make it work correctly. This software can be retrieved at <http://clickserve.cc-dt.com/link/tplclick?lid=41000000026926877&pubid=21000000000022636>. It is called MacSpeechPlainTalk Enabler, and it works on both the iMac and the Blue G3. Once it is downloaded, place it in your Extensions folder, which is located in your System Folder. Then restart. This might seem like extra work, but, trust me, it'll work.

Now, you need the recognition software to make the magic. This software can be downloaded at <http://www.apple.com/speech/>. It comes in two parts. Once it is downloaded, install it. Then, of course, restart.

It's magic time! When your computer restarts, you should hear, "Speakable items is ready." If you don't, go to your speech control panel, and then go to the "Speakable items" tab and make sure the "on" radio box is selected. Also, open your Control Strip and make sure the input source is "Built in mic." You will see this by clicking the little button that looks like a CD with a microphone on top.

Let's hear a joke! Shut your door and windows (the real ones, not the computer ones!) and mute any TVs or radios. Then say, "Open speakable items." If the computer hears you, you'll see a little sound wave near the person's head. You might need to say it a few times, since the computer has some trouble hearing the first few times.

Now, your computer will listen to you. It might take you a few times to get used to it, but now at least someone will listen to you.