Mac Advocate Glossary

Here is a partial glossary of terms you are likely to encounter when discussing supporting the Mac platform with a longtime Mac user. If you have more contributions, tack them on in the message board.

Apple: Our Favorite Computer Company.

AtAT: As The Apple Turns, a soap-opera styled daily commentary on things Apple. AtAT is most notable for its diligent tracking of the Michael Dell Wants to Be Steve Jobs Theory.

Borg, The: Refers to Microsoft, an analogy in reference to the assimilating cyborgs of Star Trek fame, a direct comparison to the tendency of Microsoft to either destroy or absorb its competitors. Implies that Apple is the Federation.

Cupertino: Home city for the headquarters of Apple Computer. Located in California.

Evangelista: member of the Mac Evangelist, a mailing list for Mac advocates that originated with Guy Kawasaki and still exists today. More specifically, a member of the list driven to support via email, survey responses, phone or letter, a campaign to either end anti-Mac bias or to bring Mac support to a product.

Forward Migration: A term used by the MacCentral web site to describe a company switching from a Wintel to Apple platform.

iCEO: Steve Jobs.

IMac: How to spell "iMac" when grammar is more important to you than clarity.

Kawasaki, Guy: Formerly the official Apple head of evangelism, Guy left the company when Apple made peace with Microsoft and now does other things. In the recent past he was accused of jumping ship for using a Wintel laptop during a presentation at IBM, but in fact he was just being gracious to his hosts; he a still uses a Mac.

LEM: Depending on the audience, either Lunar Excursion Module or Low End Mac.

MAC: How a Wintel user spells "Mac" on a posting. Also MACK, MCINTOSH, and MacIntosh.

Mac Addict: A subscriber to MacAddict, a somewhat off-the-wall magazine which is noted for its irreverent attitude towards Apple and Microsoft.

Mac Advocate: A person who is arguing for the adoption of the Mac as a platform.

Mac Business Unit: A division of Microsoft responsible for developing Mac software, which in recent years has demonstrated that, given time, Microsoft can produce some decent products.

Mac Faithful: A person who puts a positive pro-Mac spin on any news from Cupertino; these are the people who cheer during Steve Jobs' speeches.

MacKiDo: A Mac advocacy and evangelism site.

Macolyte: A person who believes everything that Apple Computer says without evidence.

Mac the Knife: A song often sung in Las Vegas; also, a pseudonym for a former columnist of the now-defunct MacWeek site, noted for its oblique cultural references and predictions of new hardware from Cupertino.

Mac Web: Sites on the Internet devoted to Macintosh and Apple, in particular opinion and commentary pieces. For example: "The Mac Web responded in a positive way to the introduction of the Titanium PowerBook."

Michael Dell Wants to Be Steve Jobs Theory: A theory promoted by the site As the Apple Turns which draws parallels between Dell Computer and Apple Computer, for example, the marketing of laptops with batteries that burst into flame. In the regular press, Dell has repeatedly called for Apple to pay off its shareholders and dissolve the company because it is irrelevant. Steve Jobs has implied that Apple is the most anti-Dell company because Apple innovates and Dell . . . well, doesn't.

MicroSloth: Derogatory name for Microsoft. Also Micro$oft, Microshaft. How many people ever noticed this: MicroComputer SoftWare = Microsoft + Computerware.

One More Thing: The phrase immediately preceding a new product announcement at a major Apple Media Event.

Reality Distortion Field: an alternative term to the Suspension of Disbelief, the ability of viewers of movies and plays to forget that the story unfolding in front of them is not real and not realistic; specifically applied to people listening to Steve Jobs. Simply put, references to the RDF assume you are so stunned by His Steveness you cannot think critically about what he says until after he leaves. References to the RDF are usually limited to product reviews in the days following the announcement of a new product from Cupertino.

Redmond: in the state of Washington, home city for Microsoft.

Troops, The: see Evangelista.

Wintel: A term surprisingly unfamiliar to PC users, this refers to the Windows-Intel hegemony on personal computers.

Woz: Steve Wozniak, the cofounder of Apple Computer and the technical brains of the company responsible for designing early Apple computers.