Matt's Macs

'Twas the Night Before (a Mac) Christmas

[an error occurred while processing this directive] - 2001.12.24 - Tip Jar

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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house;
No hardware was stirring, not even the mouse;
The stockings were hung by the iMac with care,
In hopes that blank CDs would soon be found there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of GIFs danced in their heads;
And mamma with her web layout, and me with the scripts;
Had just settled down for a long night of creative bliss,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I hit option-S before seeing what was the matter.
Away from my Mac I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow;
With the luster of my new iBook y'know,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
Like a Mac 512 driver, so compact and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than FireWire his coursers they came,
And he clicked, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONNER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
Like the files that are uploaded to the Net on the fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Mac goodies, and St. Nicholas too.
And in a screen redraw, I heard on the roof
The prancing and clicking of each little hoof.
As I put down my tablet, and was turning around,
Through the front door St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toes,
And his clothes were all covered with dust and snow;
A bundle of Mac software he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a consultant just opening his pack.
His TiBook - how it glowed! the Apple how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
How the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
Like the iMac sitting on my desk y'know
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, like buttons on the OS X desktop place.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A boot of his TiBook and a spin of the hard drive,
Reminded me that Santa had arrived;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger and giving a nod,
He went out the door, with listening to his iPod;
He zipped to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of many pixels.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!" LEM

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