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8/2/2K: Late Tuesday evening, Apple Computer was served legal
papers by the Borg. They are suing Apple over the shape and
name of their newest computer, the Power Mac G4 Cube.
"Resistance is futile," said the Borg spokesdrone. "We
pioneered the cube concept millennia ago in the Delta Quadrant, as
it allows the most efficient use of space and communication
among segments of the collective."
Despite disparities in size, purpose, and overall design, the
Borg intend to fully push their claims. "The similarities show
Apple has been studying our collective. Their cube is protected in
a transparent casing, much as our more advanced technology protects
our cubes with force fields. Like the Borg, the G4 Cube is designed
to communicate without wires.
"Apple has shown their ability to assimilate both
Microsoft Windows and Linux for use on their computers. Their
ability to assimilate other operating systems overshadows that of
Bill Gates to assimilate businesses and individual computer users.
We believe that Steve Jobs intends to assimilate all competition,
then begin a cybernetic collective on your planet that may
grow to rival our own.
"We wish nothing less than the complete assimilation of
Apple Computer."
Observers believe that the G4 Cube's use of a single processor
will be a strong argument in Apple's favor, since the Borg cube
uses massively parallel biological processors. Further, the fact
that AirPort is an option means that a stock Cube cannot
communicate wirelessly, also reducing parallels with the Borg
cube.
Additional arguments Apple is expected to use include use of
primitive devices such a mouse, keyboard, and microphone for input.
This is in stark contrast to the Borg's use of nanoprobes
and other technology that readily interfaces with biological
units.
In discussions with Apple supporters, the Borg spokesdrone was
heard to say, "We will not sit idly by. They are trying to exert
their marketing pressure; they will be assimilated."
Numerous sources have indicated that shipping dates for the G4
Cube have slipped. Speculation exists that this is, in fact, tied
to possible legal action or invasion by the Borg.
An Apple representative had no comment on the matter.
More information will be obtained as further details become
available.
- Anne Onymus
Are you a Star Trek fan? Star Trek, the
original series, is available on DVD from
Amazon.com.
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