The only way I can lose this election is if I’m caught in bed with a dead woman . . . or a live boy. – Edwin Edwards, former governor of Louisiana

And, he did win that election, BTW.

I remember, growing up in Louisiana, hearing story upon story about the infamous Long brothers. I’m sure you’ve heard of them if you have even a cursory knowledge of American history. I think it was Huey P. Long who coined the phrase a chicken in every pot.

The Long boys were scoundrels, but they were our scoundrels, dammit.

I can’t think of too many governors that didn’t bring controversy. Even though we had a few quiet, good-ole boys in the governors mansion, the road to the Baton Rouge governorship could always be counted on to give us a few laughs, if nothing else.

I remember 1991-92, the year that David Duke prompted all redneck Louisiananians to don the proverbial paper sack. David Duke was the ex-Grand Wizard of the local Ku Klux Klan. He did harmless things like celebrate Hitler’s birthday, propose that the U.S. be carved up and allotted to its respective ethnic groups.

And, of course, he warned the good citizens about the evils of miscegenation.

One of my favorite incidents occurred when he gave a speech to one group, and this interracial couple walked up to him afterwards, got his attention, then they kissed each other.

What do you think of that? they asked him. The girl was white; the guy was black.

Without missing a beat – everyone expected him to explode about such a travesty – he said to the young man, sir, what in the world is an intelligent, handsome young man doing with trash like her?

I remembered all of this the year that I escaped (read emigrated Louisiana in 1995). I also thought about the illustrious Edwin Edwards. This is the man who told a reporter, I’m a crook. You know I’m a crook. You will still re-elect me. Then he proceeded to make the comment about being caught in bed with the woman or the boy.

For some reason, I thought about this when I read a secondhand news report that claims a reputable financial-analyst group is spreading the rumor that Apple will be releasing an Internet/digital appliance at this summers Macworld Boston.

If this is true, it will solidify my opinion that Mr. Jobs is akin to Edwin Edwards in that he ostensibly can do no wrong.

Is there anything he can do that would cause him to fall from grace?

I doubt it. The man has proven the the strength of the human spirit. Sure, Amelio may have laid the foundation for Apple’s resurgence, but it was Steve Jobs’ charisma, vision and sheer force of will that pulled the company up by its bootstraps. No other person could have done it, as many have said in times past.

If he’s that good, maybe he should run for governor? Or president. Then again, maybe he shouldn’t.

As the late Lewis Grizzard, a Great American, once said: only a fool would run for president! Ditto for governor. But iCEO? Ah, that’s different matter.

– Rodney O’Neal Lain

Rodney O. Lain is The iMac’s Associate Editor. A former professor, he lives in St. Paul, MN, where he is a freelance writer and a supervisor at a major US corporation. He enjoys comic books and pencil drawing. He adores Mike Royko, Zora Hurston, Lewis Grizzard, Maya Angelou, John Byrne, bell hooks, Frank Miller, and Henry Louis Gates. He also writes for Low End Mac, Applelinks, and My Mac Magazine. When no one’s looking, he rants and raves on his home page,  Free Your Mind & Your Behind Will Follow.

This article was originally published on The iMac.com, a site which no longer exists. It is copyright 2000 by RAC Enterprises, which also seems to no longer exist. It is thus reprinted here without permission (which we would gladly obtain if possible). Links have been retained when possible, but many go to the Internet Wayback Machine.

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