Lost Desktop Pattern

Charlie Ruggiero – 2001.04.01

Q: My favorite desktop pattern disappeared. How do I get it back?

A: Buy a new computer. With a faster machine, you’ll save precious time so your racquetball Wednesdays are not interrupted. Just send your maid or butler out to CompUSA with some pocket change to pick up another one of those G4/733 DVD writer computers. You might as well scrap the internal parts of your old Mac as well (just in case), so be sure to pick up a gigabyte of RAM and a couple of 80 GB hard drives.

This may seem extravagant, but let me tell you – this will make your life easier than trying to follow some silly instructions to get to the Appearance control and clicking on “Desktop” tab and then select the pattern you want. That’s three steps; you have more important things to do. You wouldn’t want to be caught cruising the desktop patterns while the President and some key Senators were waiting in the den sipping brandy without you. Or perhaps you had to kick a Trump off your lawn again, but he made it to your patio because you were fiddling with your Mac again.

This same rule can be applied over and over for each new problem. Simply throw out your old computer and get a new one, and you will find yourself telling your friends, “Yes, I can make that racquetball game after all.”