Apple Acquires Microsoft, Replaces Windows 10 with OS X

Tired of being a perpetual bridesmaid in the personal computing world even though it’s the most valuable company in the world, Apple has acquired Microsoft and today begins the process of upgrading Windows 10 users to OS X 10.11 El Capitan.

The Rumor Mill

Switch With a Twist

When Apple realized how easily Microsoft was migrating its users from Windows 7, 8, and 8.1 to Windows 10 – often without their even wanting to make the switch – it saw its opportunity to make OS X the world’s dominant operating system. Well, on computers at least.

Beginning this morning, the Windows update software has begun installing Apple’s free OS X 10.11 El Capitan on the computers of unsuspecting Windows 10 users. To ease the transition, Apple has created a special Windows-like interface option reminiscent of the environment formerly known as Metro.

By the end of April, Apple should have all Windows 10 users migrated to OS X and then begin the process of moving Windows 7, 8, and 8.1 users with 64-bit CPUs to OS X. It remains to be seen whether Apple will do the same for Vista and Windows XP users with appropriate hardware, but it could happen.

Remember those old Switch and Mac vs. PC ads. Absolutely things of the past. Except for the handful of Windows Mobile Phone OS devices and Surface RT, Windows could disappear from all Internet connected devices by the middle of 2016.

Apple is spinning Windows Mobile Phone into a separate company that will remain headquartered in Redmond, Washington. The future of the Xbox platform in unknown at present, but with the new Apple TV, it may be discontinued or spin off as a separate company.

The rest of the Microsoft organization will be merged into Apple.

Beyond Windows

At the same time, Apple will be installing Microsoft Office 2016 for OS X on these upgraded computers. In addition, they will be getting free copies of Pages, Numbers, and Keynote – Apple’s own productivity suite.

To further benefit users, Apple is resurrecting the old AppleWorks software into an entirely new integrated suite to be known as ItJustWorks. This will also be free and replace any copies of Microsoft Works. It will be fully compatible with both MS Works and AppleWorks files.

Thermonuclear Warfare

Finally, with Windows going the way of the dodo on desktops, laptops, and tablets, Apple will be making iTunes standard on all OS X computers, making it that much easier for Apple’s iOS platform to make deeper inroads against Android. (Did we forget to mention that these newly converted OS X machines can’t run your old Windows apps?)

In fact, every time an OS X El Capitan computer connects to an Android device, it will pop up a notice suggesting that Google ripped off the iPhone and offering a $100 discount on any new iPhone purchase via the online Apple Store.

This will make the newly released $399 iPhone SE available to former Windows users for only $299 – unheard of in the Apple world.

Steve Jobs as Big Brother from 1984Big Brother Is Watching You

OS X 10.11 will include the same level of security as the iPhone, which means the FBI can get into your data if it tries really, really hard.

Apple will have full access to your data to do with as it pleases, but national governments will not. Not even China.

Remember when 1984 wasn’t going to be anything like 1984? Well, that was then; this is now.

Welcome to a future George Orwell couldn’t even begin to imagine.

 – Anne Onymus

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