We all love our iPhones. But is that love serious enough to warrant a union in holy matrimony?
I came across the following memory from 2011 on my Facebook “On This Day” feed and was reminded of a press release I received in my inbox while still technically working for the website PowerBook Central (also known as pbcentral.com).
Since it was obvious to me that it was an April Fools’ Day prank, I did not publish it, but I did share it with my friends on Facebook.
However, with the article on my iPhone SE published on Saturday and April Fools’ Day the following day, I thought it only appropriate to share it today with my readers even if it is now seven years old.
After all, I only said about my iPhone SE that I immediately fell in love with the thing!
Note that the link to marryyouriphone.com has since been taken down (but it’s been archived!).
From: “email@example.com” <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: April 1, 2011 at 8:59:35 AM PDT
Subject: “Marry Your iPhone” Service Available Starting April 1st
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 1, 2011
“Marry Your iPhone” Service Available Starting April 1st
MarryYouriPhone.com is introducing a new public service that allows people to enter into marriage with their Apple device. “People love their iPhone so much, it’s only natural to want to marry it,” said David Seagull, a representative of MarryYouriPhone.com. Visitors to the site will be able to purchase an official marriage certificate that will bind them in holy union with their beloved device.
“Finally!” said Alex Cequea, Director of Communications at MarryYouriPhone.com, “People can now show their true commitment to the iPhone beyond the 2-year contract plan.” The initial response from the newlyweds has been overwhelmingly positive, with many experiencing deeper and richer relationships with their mobile devices. “The iPhone outperforms almost every man I’ve ever dated,” said Mary Fernandez-3GS, from Houston, Texas, “I’m so happy I said iDo.”
Marriage certificates can be bundled with a one-year subscription to iPhone Life magazine (the #1 magazine for iOS users) for $15.97, or purchased along with a single issue for $7.99. Visitors of MarryYouriPhone.com can also download the marriage certificate for free straight from the site.
MarryYouriPhone.com expects this new service to be very attractive to iPhone lovers, but Dave Averbach, Associate Outreach Coordinator, offers a word of advice: “Communication is at the heart of every great relationship. Signal strength is key. If you have good reception and battery life, you’ll be well on your way to a healthy iPhone marriage.”
MarryYouriPhone.com is also an advocate for iPhone Life Partners rights. The website allows supporters to sign a petition to make Human-Device partnerships legal in all 50 states.
You can read more about marrying your iPhone at MarryYouriPhone.com
Apparently, this April Fools’ Day prank comes from the publishers of iPhone Life magazine who also publish content online on their website www.iphonelife.com. (I did not read their content back then but have recently subscribed to their free email newsletters.).
I always wondered how many media outlets, if any, fell for the gag and published the press release as an actual news story.
Of course, as I’m doing here, some may have simply shared it all in good fun.
UPDATE: 7/3/18- As of May 2018, Joe Leo is a contributor to iPhone Life magazine and iphonelife.com providing tips, tricks, user guides, and reviews of apps and accessories with a focus toward the visually impaired readers of the digital version of the magazine and online content.
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