I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I’ve come to the conclusion that absolutely everything has turned upside down since we started pushing beyond the Chinese Calculator.

Our species was founded on the hunter-gatherer work ethic (Not the one where you gather hunters or the one where you hunt the gatherers either), the idea that we can build tools to survive and improve our lives in a practical sense.

Nearly all electronic devices manifest their calculations in the form of rendered graphical user interfaces or some form of text, something that can be done nowhere nearly as effectively and with no production cost if using the imagination.

Therefore it follows that computers are used to only represent what could be beyond what we touch and see as a species.. while a Chinese calculator physically allows you to hold the beads and feel the calculating power!

Besides, modern technology is way too much fun and whimsical for our liking here at Luddite Mac. Therefore we present:

10 Reasons to Use a Chinese Calculator

• 1: No error messages saying you can’t add those numbers up.
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• 2: It can be an ornate yet subtle decoration in a quiet living space.
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• 3: Charging time is usually 0-100% in about 0 minutes, although usually it happens so fast people ask to see the fast charging trick multiple times.
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• 4: The louder the beads clack when adding numbers, the more you let others know around you how serious the work is being done.
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• 5: No SSD/RAM/GPU upgrades necessary
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• 6: Outstanding legacy support unmatched by any other tech
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• 7: Backwards compatible with counting with your fingers (Although partial support for counting out loud was removed around 600 BC or so)
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• 8: Energy efficient and 100% recyclable – most if not all are made out of wood, so they go toe to toe with today’s environmental standards.
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• 9: If made of wood, it can be knocked on for good luck.
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• 10: You never have to worry about malware or viruses ever!