- 2003.05.29
I'm torn between two directions as I write this article for the
Mac Lab Report. One side says that
teachers need to know when their computing platform of choice is under
attack. The other says don't give the Dark Side any hints on how to
pull off a clandestine switch.
Seeing as how the Dark Side gets official training at MCSE
workshops, I guess there's no harm in passing along this little guide
to you. Print it out and check off each thing as it happens.
__ 1. The district upgrades your existing computer with an OS too
advanced for it to run, citing networking issues. For example, they try
to install OS X on a Quadra. Or worse. Then all 68K machines are
eliminated, but newer Macs are allowed to still be used in the
district.
__ 2. The district requires everyone to switch from a functional
email client to one that is more "secure" (and by coincidence requires
seat licenses from Microsoft).
__ 3. The district issues a memo saying that you must append the
three letter file extension for your PC colleagues because they can't
open your documents--even though you can open theirs. This is described
as a flaw of the Macintosh rather than of the PC.
__ 4. The accounting department buys software that will only run on
PCs.
__ 5. Calendaring software is purchased for all administrative staff
that only runs on PC or lacks some critical function on the Mac.
Critical function is defined as the little cute colored egg logos that
print out on the entry for Easter - they show up on the PC, but not on
the Mac.
__ 6. Problem with a purchase order from Apple is discussed at a
board meeting.
__ 7. Attendance software upgrade, done without warning or
explanation, breaks all the Mac clients - but not the PC clients. Email
says "You MUST find a PC to enter your attendance today! MACS WILL NOT
WORK!"
__ 8. None of several virus warnings you receive throughout the year
mention that the Macs are unaffected by the virus.
__ 9. Funding for external floppy drives for Mac users is
denied.
__ 10. Repairs for Mac computers are denied due to lack of
funds.
__ 11. Purchase orders for Macs require more steps and more
signatures, plus a mandatory waiting period.
__ 12. A school board member who works in IT is elected.
__ 13. Professional development workshop application for how to use
your Mac in your classroom is denied, so the workshop cannot be held,
or it does not count against mandatory professional development
obligation.
__ 14. Everyone is required to switch to Microsoft Office.
AppleWorks is no longer allowed.
__ 15. Some mission-critical document is created in Office XP using
a new feature that doesn't work on the Mac version of Office. "Mission
Critical" means the superintendent's clip art doesn't show up because
it's not in your library.
__ 16. Your Mac-only software request is denied, and you are
supplied with either a vaporware promise letter or a crappy Windows 3.x
version of analog movie capture software.
__ 17. All P.O.'s for Mac-related equipment are on the same desk, in
the same "hold" folder, but no one can remember why, because that
person no longer works here.
__ 18. Parents of third graders insist that Windows XP will still be
in widespread use nine years from now, so Macs must be eliminated.
__ 19. Your school website proudly proclaims that it is best viewed
in a computer you don't own. Diversity surrenders.
__ 20. Meeting to decide whether or not to get rid of Macs is held
during the summer when teachers interested in the answer are on
vacation.
__ 21. Computer repair class only repairs PCs, even though most of
your campus uses Macs. Thus, students are trained on computers which
will be obsolete by the time they graduate, and no actual useful work
is done for the campus.
__ 22. Video production class does entire curriculum on PCs because
editing software was discounted on the day purchase orders are due.
__ 23. Network eliminates AppleTalk. IP addresses switch to DHCP,
requiring all Mac-savvy users to learn new skills from scratch. Of
course, this isn't done at the same time.
__ 24. Calls from Apple Rep to district personnel are not
returned.
__ 25. Possibility of dropping Macs is eliminated and reconstrued as
"single vs. dual platform" argument, based on the idea that running a
single platform is cheaper than a dual platform. And we all know what
platform is the single platform.
__ 26. Newspaper misconstrues dual vs. single platform debate as Mac
vs. PC, eventually getting Linux thrown off campus.
__ 27. Mac labs must supply their own routers, whereas PC labs get
all the ports they need.
__ 28. It becomes against district policy to ask about platform
preference during interviews for hiring.
__ 29. Large donations are solicited and received from Microsoft,
Intel, or some other PC-centric company.
And the 30th sign your district is about to switch to Windows:
__ 30. Somebody left a Dell on the floor of your room, your iMac no
longer responds to the network, and some kid has stolen your Dell's
optical mouse, CD-burner drive, the letter "W" from the keyboard, and
your video card. Then the pins to your keyboard cable break when you
try to bend them back after they were jammed into the wrong port.
Final thought: You know, if the IT department were to adopt the
metric system, we could finally compete in the European market space.
is a longtime Mac user. He was using digital sensors on Apple II computers in the 1980's and has networked computers in his classroom since before the internet existed. In 2006 he was selected at the California Computer Using Educator's teacher of the year. His students have used NASA space probes and regularly participate in piloting new materials for NASA. He is the author of two books and numerous articles and scientific papers. He currently teaches astronomy and physics in California, where he lives with his twin sons, Jony and Ben.< And there's still a Mac G3 in his classroom which finds occasional use.
