I received the following from a reader:
I'm curious about the contents of a page that was
recently publicised in MacUser, the main UK rag of the Mac community,
promoting "Jesux" - a Christian Linux distribution.
As a man with fundamentally Christ-oriented beliefs
who finds it hard to be a "Christian" in the socially accepted (and
Scripturally accepted) sense, I thought I'd be so rude as to ask you,
as someone who for me treads a very well-considered path through the
quicksand of religious internet (or net-based religion) practise, what
you thought. If, indeed, it is not a meticulous hoax, is it not a
rather dangerous thing?
If there's one thing I'm not, it's well versed on Unix or Linux. I
know enough about computers and operating systems to understand the
inherent stability and the power available, especially for servers.
Shoot, Apple's next OS will have the same kind of kernel as Unix,
Linux, and BSD, so it's got to be a good thing.
If there's one area I'm well versed in, it's religion. I grew up in
the church, my father held a key role in our denomination's youth
ministry, I attended Christian schools and even some seminary.
In both realms, there's a real mix of sincere believers and nut
cases. And then there are the hoaxmeisters, the parody makers for whom
April 1st is the best day of the year.
And I don't have a clue where the Jesux crew fits in all this. Let's
look for hints.
I've had several people review this article before
posting it. They seem about evenly divided between "don't go there,
you're asking for trouble" and "great stuffy, it may actually cause
people to think." Please take this with a pinch or two of salt.
The distribution that will not lead you into
temptation
Right off the bat, I'm skeptical. I haven't yet heard of an
operating system that could lead one into temptation. About the closest
is the Mac OS, which might give one feelings of pride (the same
probably goes for Linux, especially among the Slashdot crowd). Pride
remains one of the seven deadly sins, but it also seems very much the
basis of modern culture.
What is Jesux?
Jesux (pronounced Hay-sooks) is a new Linux distribution for
Christian hackers, schools, families, and churches. There is already a
core distribution being prepared, based on Red Hat's distribution.
Here the author parodies the greatest debate in Linux circles:
what is the proper way to pronounce Linux? Because the name
Linus is pronounced with a long "i" in the English-speaking world,
there's a strong tendency among Anglos to pronounce it lie-nucks. Still
others go for lee-nucks, but Mr. Torvalds, the father of Linux,
pronounces it li-nucks (short i, just as his name is pronounced).
If the authors of Jesux were seeking authenticity, they wouldn't be
pushing hay-sooks. They would either choose the English pronunciation
of Jesus (gee-zus) as their basis and come up with jee-zucks, or go
with Greek. In that case, the Savior would be called "yay-seus" (or
possibly "yay-zeus" - which is not a cheer for a Greek deity!) and the
Linux distribution would be properly pronounced "yay-sooks." (Trust me.
I bombed first year Greek twice.)
That's already two counts against Jesux being authentic.
Jesux will aim to be an environment that is pleasant
for Christians to work in, with all the amenities a Christian might
expect, and when possible, free from worldly influences.
Having worked in several religious workplaces, whether culturally
Christian or overtly religious in purpose, I know that what's pleasant
for one Christian can be painfully saccharine for another - or too
gritty. There's a great range of taste in the Christian community,
ranging from the grannies who buy and actually read Helen Steiner Rice,
the aunts and uncles who give Precious Moments books and pictures to
their nieces and nephews, and people who will only watch Christian TV
and listen to Christian radio, all the way to people who despise the
schlockification of the Christian faith and don't want to paint an
artificially pristine picture of the Christian life. (Dietrich
Bonhoeffer definitely fell in the latter category.)
If Jesux is legitimate, it is targeted at the kind of people who buy
second rate art because it has a scripture verse on it, won't buy
greeting cards that don't have Bible verses, believe the Christian
Yellow Pages are God's gift to a decadent society, and worry about
Veggie Tales, because it seems that just maybe Bob the Tomato and Larry
the Cucumber share housing.
For the most part, these are sheep who will not follow Steve Jobs to
the Mac OS, let alone follow Jesux into Linux country. They are fearful
conformists. They are a strong market (ask anyone who tries to get them
to buy a Bible translated after the 17th century), but a tough one to
break into.
Realistically, I don't think there's a large enough market for Jesux
to be anything but a hoax - but you never know with religious
zealots.
What is different about Jesux?
Below is a short list. As we get more information, we will
put it here. Send more suggestions to jesux@pobox.com. Send your
suggestions for content in the bookmark, fortune, and .newsrc files,
too, and we will start posting some of this stuff.
- default fortune file contains quotes from the scriptures,
Augustine, C.S. Lewis, Chuck Swindoll, etc.
I'm not familiar with the "fortune file," but presume it puts up
messages on a screen saver or otherwise posts them for daily
edification. You certainly can't go wrong with scripture, Augustine,
Lewis, or Swindoll, so they're safe. Start putting in names like
Luther, Wesley, Calvin, Arminius, Scofield, or any pope, and you'll
greatly diminish the market. Maybe Spurgeon would be safe, but it's a
very short list that won't offend a good portion of the potential (and
already small) Jesux market.
- Christian Enlightenment themes featuring Jesus, the cross, and
other Christian icons
Okay, I'm a Mac user. I understand themes and the Appearance
Manager. Laughing Jesus will offend dour believers, too much
traditional Christian art will offend many people with aesthetic
sensibility, and there's really no way to comfortably portray a man
being executed with thorns poking into his brow and nails through his
limbs.
As an aside, would the Jesus they feature be Jewish or European?
Better stick with safe stylized symbols like the cross, doves, and
triangles. (Definitely avoid pink and rainbows - homophobes would not
be pleased.)
- Login screen has full text to Lord's Prayer and Pledge of
Allegiance, with Christian and American symbols
- Provide alternate screens for non-Americans, perhaps
Unless they do, that pretty effectively keeps Jesux out of the
Canadian market - and I'm sure it's not the only one. The mixing of
religion and national pride is, since I can't put it mildly, an
abomination. God bless America - God knows we need it - but don't do
that stars-and-stripes flag-waving my-country-right-or-wrong
love-it-or-leave-it thing in something the purports to tie into a
worldwide gospel.
- Pregenerated Netscape bookmarks and .newsrc files pointing to
prescreened Christian web sites and newsgroups
Here we're getting suspicious. Bookmark fascism. Actually, that's
the wrong way to go about it; better a filter that prevents bookmarking
(and visiting) anything deemed unholy.
On the other hand, maybe they should call them regerarate bookmarks.
;-)
- cal(1) includes Christian holidays
Reasonable. Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholic, or...?
- Special hack of emacs "M-x doctor" mode, "M-x pastor"
Groan.
- Optional technical support and basic counseling services provided
by Christian hackers
"...and they'll only drink milk from a Christian cow."
I'm starting to think we might have fans of Steve Taylor and/or The
Door involved with this project. It's looking more and more like parody
all the time - excellent parody at that!
- The current plan is to double up the tech support line as a crisis
line, where people in need can be redirected to people who can really
help them
We can save your files and your soul. This is hilarious!
- Online Bible in King James Version: no other versions will be
provided by default; we feel the KJV is the only English version that
can be fully trusted
- Addition of /usr/dict/kjv.words (exhaustive)
Again, there are a lot of Christians who think this way, as though
the Bible should have been written in English in the first place (not
Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek) - and that the King James translation
committee was as divinely guided as the original scribes of Holy
Writ.
Some of us read this as parody, but for others the supremacy of the
King James translation ranks right up there with the ABCs of salvation
and having exactly the right understanding of the end times. (I better
watch it here. Few things lead to more fights among Christians than the
end time debates of pre-mils, post-mils, preterists, and dispys - just
about anyone who falls outside the historical amillennial position that
"God only knows the hour and the day.")
- Removal of some of the Red Hat games. We don't play them much, but
several of you have noted that some of them are clearly
inappropriate
- Squid proxy server (plus squidGuard) bundled and configured for
blocking illicit web sites (including a regularly updated list of
illicit sites and URL patterns to install on your own; we will be
looking for mature and diligent volunteers to help maintain it)
Should have listed this above with preselected bookmarks. :-)
- Optionally disable logins on Sunday, the day of rest
Thanks for a laugh. Why not an Orthodox Jewish/Seventh Day Adventist
version that prevents any computer access on the Sabbath (not Sunday -
strict Sabbatarians may as well at least get the day right!). Maybe
even prevent the system from rebooting itself between sunset Friday and
sunset Saturday.
- bash(1) is default
- the "Bourne-Again" shell is already the default; but we like the
shell, and we love the name :)
Amen, brothers and sisters. Amen.
- chmod(1) accepts hexadecimal modes, such as 0x01B6
- qmail replaces sendmail as the standard MTA (sendmail was written
by a prominent homosexual)
Yes, there's a lot of homophobia in the church. If I say much more
about it, I can expect more email than I'm prepared to handle, so I'll
leave it at that.
- we are considering postfix too, due to popular request
Suggestion: post-mil fix and pre-mil fix, allowing users to correct
any flaws in their millennial understanding. (At this point, I'm pretty
confident it's a hoax, a parody, a game. And I'm enjoying playing
along.)
- Hierarchical user structure, so parents and teachers can easily
access children's files without needing to become root
Absolutely. We must reintroduce the great chain of being: God,
angels, man, woman, children, animals, demons.
- No encryption provided; Christians have nothing to hide
- We have had concerns about the "no encryption" item ... but no
worries, crypt(3) will still be there. Sorry for the confusion, we do
not generally consider it as encryption, though, of course, technically
it is. But since it is generally unsuitable for anything other than
password authentication, we don't see any problem with it.
Now I know y'all aren't serious. The antichrist is coming, so we
have to be able to encrypt everything to protect ourselves. Of course,
the software should only allow passwords that come verbatim for the
King James version....
- No cracking utilities provided; SAINT can be acquired from us
later, after the user has proven his worth
No need for grace. Work righteousness is always easier to monitor.
Very good!
All new code will be provided under the Christian
Software Public License, an Open Source-compatible license. Go ahead
and check it out. The final CSPL is very similar to the BSD license,
where the required advertising is the text of John 3:16 from the King
James Version of the Bible. (Note: the requested requirement that only
Christians could redistribute the code was considered and rejected, in
accordance with the "No Discrimination Against Persons or Groups"
section of the Open Source Definition. We actually agree with this
section of the OSD ... the more people that use our software, the more
that see the Gospel; the more that distribute it, the more that
advertise His word in His name!)
Also, we are seriously considering changing some
fundamental OS features. The idea would be that function calls and
features suggesting evil and otherwise pagan ideas would be
changed.
- abort(3)
- kill(1)
- references to "daemon"
NOTE: we do not believe words are inherently bad. We
simply do not like these words because of their connotations in
different contexts. You do not have to agree, but you will not change
our minds. However, because this is not a point of religious contention
but of linguistics and meanings and associations, and because the
solution seems like the easiest one to implement, the current plan is
to provide symlinks, headers, macros, etc. so that the existing names
will still exist, but those who want to use alternate symbols (words)
can do so.
In the interest of getting out a functional system,
these will all wait for some future release anyway.
ROTFL! Suggestion: rename daemon processes as angel processes!
When will it be out?
Jesux will be here in late December (hopefully before Jesus
arrives :). Contact jesux@pobox.com for more information. Ask to be put
on our announcement list.
Just in time for Christmas? And just before the Y2K bug strikes.
This truly is excellent timing - it'll beat Win2K out of the
gate.
Latest News
We have been asked several times about "corporate
information." We are not a company and will not be. We are volunteers
doing this in our free time, and seek not a dime of profit, not a penny
of contribution or charity. We have all been involved in open source
projects for a few years, and this one is no different in that respect.
It is different in that it is closer to our hearts and can possibly
make a real difference in people's lives.
We have been getting lots of requests about whether or
not this site is a hoax. We understand the reasons why, but it saddens
us. What has become of our society that it is so hard to believe that
people are earnestly seeking to do good in God's name, to follow Him,
and to help others through the power of the Holy Spirit? Please do keep
the mail coming, but don't bother asking us if this is a hoax. We are
here to do what we think is good and right. We don't have time to
answer such frivolous mail anymore. Please keep all your other messages
coming, though! We still don't have time to answer all of them, but we
answer what we can, and we will add you to our announcement list if you
request it.
Thank you!
I've been in Christian circles long enough to realize that this
could just as readily be a hoax as the real thing. There really are
Christians who think this way - possibly even to the point of taking
their Lord's name in vain (or applying it to an OS) in their desire to
avoid contamination by the world.
It's frightening. It's the kind of thinking that leads to Jonestown,
Waco, and other isolationist retreats from the world.
On the other hand, if this is parody, it is masterfully crafted.
Christians so often take themselves and their religion too seriously.
Remember, God made the platypus, so there is a place for humor even in
a fallen, messed up world.
Hoax? Sincerely misguided reality? I wish I could say, but I
strongly lean toward the side of parody. Maybe to a real Linux geek
it's self-evident (and there's apparently been some discussion of this
on Slashdot).
As for me, I see Jesux as a social commentary on the fear and
introversion of people who don't understand the world or a robust
Christian faith.
To them I repeat one small phrase, "Perfect love casts out
fear."
Come live in God's big world full of sinners, just as the Son of Man
did.
(And if you really want to know if Jesux is for real, click
here.)
Thanks for reading this far. Please don't send flames.
Update: The title of this article says it all:
Jesux Hoax Uncovered. The creator of the hoax says, "Jesux started
out as a joke (and it still is, to some degree or another)."
Go to Linux Links for Mac
Users.
