The Lite Side

What Else Were You XPecting?

- 2001.11.19

A mole at Microsoft leaked the following internal memo, apparently an in-house employee newsletter at Microsoft.

LOOK OUT MICROSOFT

Company and Employee News for Building 349

INTERNAL COMPANY USE ONLY...DO NOT FORWARD OR PRINT

Kudos to Marybelle K., who this week nailed her 12th compliance violation with the W3C! "It was easy," Marybelle said. "All I had to do was require users to have a Passport account!" Great Job, Marybelle, keep up the good work. A box of chocolates (minus the usual gratuity to yours truly) is on the way!

Nadine Harris wants to remind everyone that because of DOS (bleah!) you are not to refer to submenu items by dividing items with a forward-slash. This week's submenu symbol will be the underscore (_). Any questions, be sure to ask Nadine, because I haven't got a clue!

The Mac Business Unit reports that their New Features Briefing for the Windows team will be held in the auditorium behind Building Seven this week as their usual venue has proven to be too small.

The IT department says that only midlevel managers will be upgrading to XP this week. Floor-level workers will have to wait at least until Service Pack 3 has been issued, according to Frank Moliere, so IT is not overwhelmed with compatibility problems all at once.

If anyone knows what happened to the light-blue transparent coffee maker in the break room, please let Nolan know ASAP. He misses his little blue buddy!

Happy Birthday to Shawn F., who recently took a medical leave. As you all know, Shawn works in the Backward Compatibility Resolution Department, and those lucky ducks get one week out of every three off for stress relief. We miss you, Shawn. Hurry back and get your cake before it's all gone!

Michael Steadmore of the Innovation Tracking Group requests that if you can positively identify a source of innovation in a Microsoft product, you are still eligible for the $1,000 bonus Mr. Gates announced last week. Mike says he's sorry, but you can't claim anything that looks like one of those "irrelevant" operating systems. Mike's still waiting. Send in your ideas now!

USER TIP OF THE WEEK:

This one's from Marty, who tells us to always remember to set preferences for Microsoft Outlook Exchange via the Settings Application rather than seeking to control things from within the Application itself! Thanks, Marty!

Thanks to everyone for the user tips you've been sending in. Norris Holbrook says we have so many efficiency tips collected we might turn it into a book! Anyone know a good publisher? (Just kidding)

NEXT WEEK

Our newsletter will be renamed "XPectations" by order of the GateKeeper himself. That's it for this week: And remember...!

"Developers, developers, developers!" (wink wink nudge nudge - you know what I mean!)

sally

Jeff Adkins is a science teacher who isn't afraid to state his preferences in computing platforms. In his classroom he has everything from a Quadra 700 to a 500 MHz CD/R-CD/RW iMac, and they all work together nicely. He also writes Mac Lab Report for Low End Mac. and maintains a site for astronomy teachers at www.AstronomyTeacher.com.

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