Have you ever read one of those computer advice columns in the paper
written by someone who didn't have a clue about Macs? They either act
like the Mac doesn't exist, or they say everything damning the Mac with
faint praise.
Wouldn't it be great if someone would write a column like that for
us? We at LEM's Lite Side Bureau hear your cries of pain and present
with total equanimity...
Michael 'Mike' "Mick" McMac's
Mac Know-it-all Column
Your one-stop answer spot for questions about your Mac
Dear Michael,
I have a Quadra computer. Can I
run OS X on it?
Steve
- Dear Steve,
Absolutely! Here's what you do. First, open up the case and yank out
the RAM, hard drive, power supply, and motherboard. Then, buy a brand
new G4 computer and open it. Put all the stuff you find inside the
Quadra. Then the Quadra will run OS X. Remember to keep a hacksaw
handy.
M.
Dear M.
Exactly what is a low-end Mac?
J.
- Dear J.
A low-end Mac is one where you have the back side (except for iMacs and
iBooks) lower than the front end. There was a trend back in the 1980s
where desk makers thought it would be cool to make desks with deep
sunken platforms, covering the computer screen with a piece of glass
like they have in those computers on Star Trek. (If you do this with
your iMac, it'll overheat and melt the casing, then catch your desk on
fire.) So basically, a low-end Mac is anything except an iMac, which as
I've explained, you cannot use in such a desk. That is why this site is
mostly about late-model Macs. Get it?
M.
Dear Mick,
How do I empty the trash?
Sorrel Budstone
- Dear Bud (can I call you Bud? You called me Mick, after all),
First, put your a bag in your trash can. Then put your trash in the
bag. When the bag is full, pull the bag out of the can (this might take
two people) and place the bag in the big plastic thing they leave in
front of your driveway every week.
M.
Dear MAC
Can you help me? I need to run Windows at home but it won't install
on my MAC.
Sonny Pretzel
- Dear Sonny,
There is absolutely, positively no way on God's green earth that I'm
going to be able to explain this to you in a way that you will be able
to comprehend. What you will need to do is quit your job and find work
at some place that isn't quite so lame. At the new job, make sure they
have MACS before you sign the contract.
M.
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gtrf
- Dear gtrf,
Your keyboard will work properly if you shift your hands one key to the
left before starting to type.
M.
Dear Michael M. McMac,
Would you like to increase the value of your home for a no-down
payment, low-monthly installment loan for some new aluminum siding?
John Besseler for the American Siding Company
- Dear John,
Does it come in Blue Dalmatian?
Michael
Dear Mike,
I got a "type 2 error." What does that mean?
Mary Lou R.
- Dear Mary Lou,
That means whenever you type the "2" the keyboard on your iBook flips
out and does a somersault across the carpet. Try tightening that little
screw between F5 and F6.
M.
Dear Mickey,
How do I switch between OS 9 and OS X?
- Doris
Funny after all these years in the business, no one has ever called me
Mickey. I wonder why.
M.
Dear Michael, Wouldn't it be swell if all of us could have our own
place where other people could connect to pictures and words we wrote
about ourselves? That would be awesome. And just think, we could send
video and little letters to each other like mail but without paper.
Someday in the future, there's no telling what we can do.
Dorjan Farzput
- Dear Dorjan,
You need to reset your time machine to about seven years later. Do that
and write back real soon.
M.
Dear Michael,
You didn't answer my question.
Doris
- Dear Doris,
Sorry about that. There are basically six steps involved.
- Delete everything important to you so you can get used to life
without it.
- Erase your hard drive.
- Install OS 9.
- Install OS X.
- Delete the one you don't want.
- Reboot.
That ought to cover it for this week. Send your questions to the
nice guys over at LEM. The really tough ones, they forward to me.
Till next time,
Michael 'Mike' "Mick" McMac
