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The Lite Side
Dude, I Can't Help Myself
- 2002.02.25
A reader recently chastised me for continuing the Mac/PC debate when we should all learn to just get along as reasonable, mature people. His argument was persuasive - up until I remembered the sleepy eyed slacker guy, Steven the Dell Dude.
I'm sorry, friends, I just can't help myself.
Here, then, for your enjoyment is a collection of "Dudeisms" which you may find splendiferously amusing, oh dudes and dudettes.
Blooper Reel from Dell Computer Commercial
Steven: So, Dude, your mom bought your computer yet?
Clueless Idiot: Nah, she can't make up her mind.
Steven: Let me handle this. Yo, Ms. Mom. I have just a little bit of info that may have a bearing on your decision-making nexus.
Mom: Huh?
Steven: Listen to this: 800 MHz PowerPC processor, flat panel integrated display that just seems to float in midair, iTunes to rock your world, industrial design that just won't quit . . .
Director: Cut, cut, CUT! What the hell are you doing? Those aren't the specifications for the model we're promoting!
Steven: I just read the cue cards, dude. Look right over there, K?
Director: Where the hell did these Chiat-Day boards come from? We're wasting time here people. Listen, Steven baby, you've got to know this isn't even specs from a Dell. It's from a Mac.
Steven: Hey dude, I just read the technobabble. No one believes I actually know what I'm talking about, do they? Dude? Du-ude?
Dudeisms
"Dude, I haven't got a clue. Ask a salesman."
"Dude, for the money they're giving me I could talk your mom into buying an eMachine."
"Dude, with a Dell in your dorm you won't need a hot-plate."
"Dude, you're getting a Dell? Whoa, are you getting a technician, too? Some people are, you know, like wealthy as all get out."
"Dude, if you buy two Dells you can reinstall Windows XP like six whole times for free."
"Dude, I'd tell you all about dot-net, but I really don't know anything about computers. I'm just a sleepy-eyed slacker guy from New York tryin' to make a few bucks before my 15 minutes of fame are gone."
How to pronounce the many variations of "Dude"
Just like the Eskimos and their many words for "snow," there are many interpretations of the word "dude" based on how you pronounce it.
Doo-ood, as in "Dude, yer gettin' a Dell. Since it's free, I got no objections."
Dood!, as in "Dude! Take that Dell back before it melts through your desk!"
Oh, DOOoohd, as in "Dude! Where's the product activation key?"
Dewd (spoken through clenched teeth), as in "Dude. Do not lay that Dell crap on my doorstep again."
Dood! Dood! Dood!, as in "Look at that highly attractive female standing next to that Dell."
DoooOOOD?, as in "I thought we had already decided not to buy a Dell. What are you doing over here?"
Recent Lite Sides
- You Might Be a Computer Geek If..., 06.17. 20 signs that you just might possibly be a computer geek.
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- How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
- iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
- More in the The Lite Side index.
Links for the Day
- Mac of the Day: 15" MacBook Pro Core Duo, Jan. 2006 - The first Intel-based MacBook launched at 1.83-2.0 GHz, had several teething problems.
- Group of the Day: System 6 is the email list for those who choose System 6.
- November 22 in LEM history: 99: Gradebooks - 00: Leveraging Apple design - Quadra 630 to Power Mac 5200 - 02: Laptop or desktop? - 04: SuperDuper: Quick, easy, efficient backup - Cross-platform programming for the rest of us - 05: Mac video surveillance on the cheap - Which OS is best for my vintage Mac? - No 'best browser' for the Mac - Sorry state of browsers for classic Macs - 06: Core 2 means cooler running 'Books - 2.0 GHz G4 upgrade
- Support Low End Mac
Recent Content on Low End Mac
- Apple's Tablet an End Run Beyond Netbooks, Frank Fox, Stop the Noiz, 11.20. Whatever Apple has planned will leverage existing technologies while going beyond what its competitors can offer.
- i5 iMac Benchmarked, Mac mini 'Shouldn't Be Overlooked', Twitter Client for Classic Mac OS, and More, Mac News Review, 11.20. Also why Apple leaves the low end to others, 10.6.2 fixes video playback problem in 27" iMac, 3D Leopard and Snow Leopard performance, and more.
- Apple #4 in Reliability, Apple Tablet a Gadget for All?, HP's i7 Notebook Outdoes Mac Rivals, and More, The 'Book Review, 11.20. Also Flash 10.1 improves video on Hackintosh netbooks, thin-and-light notebooks impress, Windows XP finally on the way out, and more.
- NASA Chemical Sensor for iPhone, Smartphone Death Match, iPhone Earrings, and More, Ian R Campbell, 11.20. Also mobile phone dangers, new apps, GPS solution for iPod touch, new iPod and iPhone cases, and more.
- Replacing the Hard Drive in a Clamshell iBook, John Hatchett, Recycled Computing, 11.19. Yes, it is one of the most difficult Apple notebooks to disassemble and reassemble, but a 10 GB hard drive just will not do.
- IBM Model F: A Great Old Keyboard with an Outdated Layout, Tommy Thomas, Welcome to Macintosh, 11.19. Although it used a different technology than the revered IBM Model M keyboard, the Model F was a great keyboard in its own right.
- Soft Touch Keyboards, Wireless Mouse Options, Loving SeaMonkey 2, and More, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 11.18. Also the future of browsing with PowerPC Macs and the multiple mouse input bug introduced with OS X 10.5.8.
- More links in our archive.
Recent Deals
- Best eMac Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz Combo, $100; SuperDrive, $269; 1.25 GHz Combo, $119; SD, $319; 1.42 GHz Combo, $289; SD, $498.
- Best Mac OS X 10.6 and Mac Box Set Deals, 11.18. "Snow Leopard", single user, $25; 5 users, $45; Mac Box Set, single user, $139; 5 users, $180; Server, $414. Shipping included.
- Best Xserve Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz dual G4, $649; 2.3 dual G5, $795; 3.0 4-core Xeon, $1,899; refurb 2.26 4-core, $2,499; new, $2,888; refurb 8-core, $2,999; new, $3,449; more.
- Best 15" MacBook Pro Deals, 11.17. Used 1.83 GHz, $750; 2.16, $800; 2.33, $900; refurb 2.4, $1,299; 2.53, $1,449; 2.66, $1,699; 2.8, $1,899; new 2.53, $1,579; 2.66, $1,799; more.
- Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 11.17. Used 400 MHz, $50; 933 MHz, $80; 500 dual, $60; 867 dual, $90; 1 GHz dual, $150; 1.25 GHz dual, $225; 1.42 GHz, $499.
- Best Mac OS X 10.5 Deals, 11.17. "Leopard" upgrade, $80; single user license, $135; 5 users, $173; Mac Box Set, 5 users, $230; Server, 10 users, $340; unlimited, $850. Shipping included.
- Best Mac mini Deals, 11.16. Used 1.42 GHz G4 mini, $379; 1.66 GHz Core Solo, $419; 2.0 Core 2, $450; new 2.26 GHz nVidia, $580; 2.53 GHz, $769; Server, $990.
- Best iBook G4 Deals, 11.16. Used 12" 1.07 GHz Combo, $210; 1.33 GHz, $298; 14" 1.33 GHz, $398; 1.42 GHz, $479; SuperDrive, $498.
- Best iPod shuffle Deals, 11.16. Used 1 GB, $35; 4 GB, $65; refurb 1 GB, $39; 2 GB, $59; new 2 GB, $55, 4 GB, $75. New and refurb prices include shipping.
- More deals in our archive.
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ramseeker
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the pickle's Low-End
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Petition
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