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The Lite Side
On Changing Light Bulbs
- 2002.03.27
Q. How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 79: seventy-seven to buy or break all the spare light bulbs in town; one to get a patent on the ubiquitous light bulb socket (one way or another); and one to charge enough for screwing in the light bulb that it pays all the others' salaries.
Q. How many Apple employees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5: One to redesign the light bulb; another to redesign the socket. Another spends all his time installing the new sockets in strategic markets for free. One opens a new Apple Light Bulb and Socket Store, and one to tell us about it on an enormous stage while wearing jeans and a black turtleneck.
Q. How many Dell employees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 2: One to knock a hole in a nearby wall, and the other one tells us the light from the hole is just as good as the light bulb would have been.
Q. How many Linux users does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it takes about a month because that person has to blow the glass, try out different filaments, pump the air out of the bulb, and assemble the bulb - only to find it doesn't fit the socket without an expensive adapter.
Q. How many Compaq employees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. We'll have to get back to you on that because the light-bulb manager we used to work with got laid off after the merger.
Q. How many Gateway employees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but odds are it'll be the wrong wattage. And you'll have to wait for it to be delivered to your house; they don't stock any at the store.
Q. How many Low End Mac users does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 2: one provides the old Mac SE/30 case, and the other tears up a lamp to mount inside it. Working together, they make a MacLampium.
Q. How many High End Mac users does it take to change a light bulb?
A. High end Mac users use fluorescent lighting in the table and counter surfaces and rarely have to change a bulb. Occasionally they have to rip out a countertop to put in a new ballast.
Q. How many Mac humor columnists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. All of them. Most of them are pretty dim bulbs, too.
Recent Lite Sides
- You Might Be a Computer Geek If..., 06.17. 20 signs that you just might possibly be a computer geek.
- What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
- How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
- iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
- More in the The Lite Side index.
Links for the Day
- Mac of the Day: iMac Core Duo, Jan. 2006 - The first Intel-based iMacs ran at 1.83-2.0 GHz, came with 17" and 20" displays.
- Group of the Day: Mac Pro List is for those using a Mac Pro.
- November 22 in LEM history: 99: Gradebooks - 00: Leveraging Apple design - Quadra 630 to Power Mac 5200 - 02: Laptop or desktop? - 04: SuperDuper: Quick, easy, efficient backup - Cross-platform programming for the rest of us - 05: Mac video surveillance on the cheap - Which OS is best for my vintage Mac? - No 'best browser' for the Mac - Sorry state of browsers for classic Macs - 06: Core 2 means cooler running 'Books - 2.0 GHz G4 upgrade
- Support Low End Mac
Recent Content on Low End Mac
- Apple's Tablet an End Run Beyond Netbooks, Frank Fox, Stop the Noiz, 11.20. Whatever Apple has planned will leverage existing technologies while going beyond what its competitors can offer.
- i5 iMac Benchmarked, Mac mini 'Shouldn't Be Overlooked', Twitter Client for Classic Mac OS, and More, Mac News Review, 11.20. Also why Apple leaves the low end to others, 10.6.2 fixes video playback problem in 27" iMac, 3D Leopard and Snow Leopard performance, and more.
- Apple #4 in Reliability, Apple Tablet a Gadget for All?, HP's i7 Notebook Outdoes Mac Rivals, and More, The 'Book Review, 11.20. Also Flash 10.1 improves video on Hackintosh netbooks, thin-and-light notebooks impress, Windows XP finally on the way out, and more.
- NASA Chemical Sensor for iPhone, Smartphone Death Match, iPhone Earrings, and More, Ian R Campbell, 11.20. Also mobile phone dangers, new apps, GPS solution for iPod touch, new iPod and iPhone cases, and more.
- Replacing the Hard Drive in a Clamshell iBook, John Hatchett, Recycled Computing, 11.19. Yes, it is one of the most difficult Apple notebooks to disassemble and reassemble, but a 10 GB hard drive just will not do.
- IBM Model F: A Great Old Keyboard with an Outdated Layout, Tommy Thomas, Welcome to Macintosh, 11.19. Although it used a different technology than the revered IBM Model M keyboard, the Model F was a great keyboard in its own right.
- Soft Touch Keyboards, Wireless Mouse Options, Loving SeaMonkey 2, and More, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 11.18. Also the future of browsing with PowerPC Macs and the multiple mouse input bug introduced with OS X 10.5.8.
- More links in our archive.
Recent Deals
- Best eMac Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz Combo, $100; SuperDrive, $269; 1.25 GHz Combo, $119; SD, $319; 1.42 GHz Combo, $289; SD, $498.
- Best Mac OS X 10.6 and Mac Box Set Deals, 11.18. "Snow Leopard", single user, $25; 5 users, $45; Mac Box Set, single user, $139; 5 users, $180; Server, $414. Shipping included.
- Best Xserve Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz dual G4, $649; 2.3 dual G5, $795; 3.0 4-core Xeon, $1,899; refurb 2.26 4-core, $2,499; new, $2,888; refurb 8-core, $2,999; new, $3,449; more.
- Best 15" MacBook Pro Deals, 11.17. Used 1.83 GHz, $750; 2.16, $800; 2.33, $900; refurb 2.4, $1,299; 2.53, $1,449; 2.66, $1,699; 2.8, $1,899; new 2.53, $1,579; 2.66, $1,799; more.
- Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 11.17. Used 400 MHz, $50; 933 MHz, $80; 500 dual, $60; 867 dual, $90; 1 GHz dual, $150; 1.25 GHz dual, $225; 1.42 GHz, $499.
- Best Mac OS X 10.5 Deals, 11.17. "Leopard" upgrade, $80; single user license, $135; 5 users, $173; Mac Box Set, 5 users, $230; Server, 10 users, $340; unlimited, $850. Shipping included.
- Best Mac mini Deals, 11.16. Used 1.42 GHz G4 mini, $379; 1.66 GHz Core Solo, $419; 2.0 Core 2, $450; new 2.26 GHz nVidia, $580; 2.53 GHz, $769; Server, $990.
- Best iBook G4 Deals, 11.16. Used 12" 1.07 GHz Combo, $210; 1.33 GHz, $298; 14" 1.33 GHz, $398; 1.42 GHz, $479; SuperDrive, $498.
- Best iPod shuffle Deals, 11.16. Used 1 GB, $35; 4 GB, $65; refurb 1 GB, $39; 2 GB, $59; new 2 GB, $55, 4 GB, $75. New and refurb prices include shipping.
- More deals in our archive.
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ramseeker
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