The Lite Side

On Changing Light Bulbs

- 2002.03.27

Q. How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 79: seventy-seven to buy or break all the spare light bulbs in town; one to get a patent on the ubiquitous light bulb socket (one way or another); and one to charge enough for screwing in the light bulb that it pays all the others' salaries.

Q. How many Apple employees does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 5: One to redesign the light bulb; another to redesign the socket. Another spends all his time installing the new sockets in strategic markets for free. One opens a new Apple Light Bulb and Socket Store, and one to tell us about it on an enormous stage while wearing jeans and a black turtleneck.

Q. How many Dell employees does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 2: One to knock a hole in a nearby wall, and the other one tells us the light from the hole is just as good as the light bulb would have been.

Q. How many Linux users does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Just one, but it takes about a month because that person has to blow the glass, try out different filaments, pump the air out of the bulb, and assemble the bulb - only to find it doesn't fit the socket without an expensive adapter.

Q. How many Compaq employees does it take to change a light bulb?

A. We'll have to get back to you on that because the light-bulb manager we used to work with got laid off after the merger.

Q. How many Gateway employees does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Just one, but odds are it'll be the wrong wattage. And you'll have to wait for it to be delivered to your house; they don't stock any at the store.

Q. How many Low End Mac users does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 2: one provides the old Mac SE/30 case, and the other tears up a lamp to mount inside it. Working together, they make a MacLampium.

Q. How many High End Mac users does it take to change a light bulb?

A. High end Mac users use fluorescent lighting in the table and counter surfaces and rarely have to change a bulb. Occasionally they have to rip out a countertop to put in a new ballast.

Q. How many Mac humor columnists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. All of them. Most of them are pretty dim bulbs, too.

Join us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter or Google+, or subscribe to our RSS news feed

Today's Links

Recent Content

About LEM Support Usage Privacy Contact

Low End Mac is an independent publication and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Apple Inc. Opinions expressed are those of their authors and may not reflect the opinion of Cobweb Publishing. Advice is presented in good faith, but what works for one may not work for all.
  Entire Low End Mac website copyright ©1997-2016 by Cobweb Publishing, Inc. unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Low End Mac, LowEndMac, and lowendmac.com are trademarks of Cobweb Publishing Inc. Apple, the Apple logo, Macintosh, iPad, iPhone, iMac, iPod, MacBook, Mac Pro, and AirPort are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. Additional company and product names may be trademarks or registered trademarks and are hereby acknowledged.
  Please report errors to .
  LINKS: We allow and encourage links to any public page as long as the linked page does not appear within a frame that prevents bookmarking it.
  Email may be published at our discretion unless marked "not for publication"; email addresses will not be published without permission, and we will encrypt them in hopes of avoiding spammers. Letters may be edited for length, context, and to match house style.
  PRIVACY: We don't collect personal information unless you explicitly provide it, and we don't share the information we have with others. For more details, see our Terms of Use.

Follow Low End Mac on Twitter
Join Low End Mac on Facebook

Page not found | Low End Mac

Well this is somewhat embarrassing, isn’t it?

It seems we can’t find what you’re looking for. Perhaps searching, or one of the links below, can help.

Recent Posts

Most Used Categories

Archives

Try looking in the monthly archives. :)

Tags

802.11g 802.11n 68030 68040 Apple April Fools clamshell iBook Classic Mac OS FireWire FireWire 400 G3 humor iBook iMac iMac G3 Intel iOS iPad iPhone LaserWriter Linux Mac MacBook Air Mac clones Mac mini Mac OS 9 macOS Sierra Mac OS X Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Microsoft OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard OS X 10.7 Lion OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion OS X 10.9 Mavericks OS X 10.10 Yosemite OS X 10.11 El Capitan Performa PowerBook PowerPC Rodney O. Lain SCSI Thunderbolt USB 1.1 USB 2.0
Page not found | Low End Mac

Well this is somewhat embarrassing, isn’t it?

It seems we can’t find what you’re looking for. Perhaps searching, or one of the links below, can help.

Recent Posts

Most Used Categories

Archives

Try looking in the monthly archives. :)

Tags

802.11g 802.11n 68030 68040 Apple April Fools clamshell iBook Classic Mac OS FireWire FireWire 400 G3 humor iBook iMac iMac G3 Intel iOS iPad iPhone LaserWriter Linux Mac MacBook Air Mac clones Mac mini Mac OS 9 macOS Sierra Mac OS X Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Microsoft OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard OS X 10.7 Lion OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion OS X 10.9 Mavericks OS X 10.10 Yosemite OS X 10.11 El Capitan Performa PowerBook PowerPC Rodney O. Lain SCSI Thunderbolt USB 1.1 USB 2.0

Favorite Sites

MacSurfer
Cult of Mac
Shrine of Apple
MacInTouch
MyAppleMenu
InfoMac
The Mac Observer
Accelerate Your Mac
RetroMacCast
The Vintage Mac Museum
Deal Brothers
DealMac
Mac2Sell
Mac Driver Museum
JAG's House
System 6 Heaven
System 7 Today
the pickle's Low-End Mac FAQ

Affiliates

Amazon.com
The iTunes Store
PC Connection Express
Macgo Blu-ray Player
Parallels Desktop for Mac
eBay

Low End Mac's Amazon.com store

Advertise

All of our advertising is handled by BackBeat Media. For price quotes and advertising information, please contact Page not found | Low End Mac

Well this is somewhat embarrassing, isn’t it?

It seems we can’t find what you’re looking for. Perhaps searching, or one of the links below, can help.

Recent Posts

Most Used Categories

Archives

Try looking in the monthly archives. :)

Tags

802.11g 802.11n 68030 68040 Apple April Fools clamshell iBook Classic Mac OS FireWire FireWire 400 G3 humor iBook iMac iMac G3 Intel iOS iPad iPhone LaserWriter Linux Mac MacBook Air Mac clones Mac mini Mac OS 9 macOS Sierra Mac OS X Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Microsoft OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard OS X 10.7 Lion OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion OS X 10.9 Mavericks OS X 10.10 Yosemite OS X 10.11 El Capitan Performa PowerBook PowerPC Rodney O. Lain SCSI Thunderbolt USB 1.1 USB 2.0
at BackBeat Media (646-546-5194). This number is for advertising only.

Open Link