The end of the free lunch that you paid $99 for back when it was a
"feature" of OS 9 - and we all know what I'm talking about here -
reminded me that we should count our blessings. Things could be
worse.
How much worse? You'll find out when you read the Lite Side's
You Get What You Pay For
#10. "And one more thing," said Mr. Jobs. "For $10, I'll tell you
some of the next Insanely Great Ideas I have."
These ideas include...
#9. Macs will now come with no buttons on their mice. If you want a
button or two, you'll have to pay extra. (Oh wait - that one's
real.)
#8. Users of pre-Power Macs will have to buy a new Mac to access
Apple's support pages and software downloads for System 7 software.
Software downloads of all types will now work only with OS X, so
you'll download on your X machine and transfer the files (somehow) to
your older machine.
#7. That little smiley Mac on the startup screen will now require an
annual royalty payment proportional to the number of times you (re)boot
your machine.
#6. If I had a nickel for every minute you waited on that spinning
rainbow cursor - oh, wait, now I do have a nickel for every minute you
waited. Starting September 1, you can join our premium program and cut
your wait time in half!
#5. All software updates start with a base price of $29.99. Starting
tomorrow there will be five software updates a day.
#4. QuickTime Pro users now have to subscribe and pay for just
getting access to their own software. No upgrades included or
required!
#3. We'll pay you $300 for switching from a PC; if you're a Mac user
already, go out and buy an expensive eMachines computer, and you'll
still come out ahead in the deal.
#2. All the iApps will now cost you money. Here are the prices:
- iTools, $99 per year
- iPhoto, $15 per version
- iMovie, $998.99 one time purchase per version
- iCal, we pay you $30 until the bugs are worked out
- iSpit $149 first offense, $79 each offense thereafter
- iSync Therefore I Yam, $10 per Sync.
#1. After a long wait, Mac users can finally rejoice! We're breaking
the 2 GHz barrier - and it's only going to cost you $1 per
KHz!
