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The Lite Side
Still Yet Even More Rejected Switcher Ads
- 2002.10.29
Seems like Apple keeps cranking out new switcher ads. Over here at the Lite Side, we can't resist reporting on the switchers we meet down the street at that bar located at 4 Hyperbola Way, 'cuz they're just so funny.
Don't get us wrong - we like the switcher ads. We really do! And if you don't believe us now, you sure will after you read the Lite Side's
Still Yet Even More Rejected Switcher Ads
Dear Apple,
Alonzo Deefendorf has eliminated seventeen of his rivals through the use of strong-arm tactics. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to eliminate Deefendorf using your IMF team. As usual, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your activities. Good luck.
This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
Dear Apple,
I'd rather fight than switch.
Sincerely,
The Marlboro Man
Dear MAC,
I would like to switch to MAC from Microsoft, but I don't know where to get your computers. I heard they were the same as APPLES, but I thought APPLE had gone out of business years ago. Do you have a PENTIUM in your MAC? Does your MAC come with WINDOWS? I heard a MAC can't use a two button mouse. What is a two button mouse, and when will you offer one?
Sincerely,
Nate "Eighty-Six" Wharburton
Dear Apple,
It's too late for me, my son. Yes . . . yes . . . I sense the presence of another Steve . . . a hidden Steve . . . your partner! Your feelings for the early days of the company have betrayed you. Now you must join me or die.
Darth Vader
Dear Apple,
Help you I will.
Yoda
Dear Apple,
I'm just a regular guy. I'm not very photogenic....
[remainder of content deleted by Apple email filtering system]
Dear Apple,
Software is irrelevant. Ease of use is irrelevant. Hardware is irrelevant. Digital hubs are irrelevant. Style is irrelevant. Loyalty is irrelevant. Your technology and your unique characteristics will be switched back to Windows.
Resistance is futile.
The Borg
Dear Apple,
Had enough? Not dead yet, you say? I've lopped off your arms! You've got no legs! What do you mean, you're not dead yet?
Arthur
King of the Britons
wielder of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
Dear Apple,
That MacIntosh is bitter, lad. Have one of these fine Tremletts's Bitter, Chisel Jersey, Hauxapfel, or Frequin Rouges.
Sincerely,
Angus Orchard
Dear Apple,
My brother uses a MAC. But I could never afford one. Finally, he gave me his old one when he had to throw out all his old Mac stuff because he got tired of having to buy new stuff every six months just to keep his computer working the way it used to. Now I have a MAC, but he has a PC. Does this qualify me as a Switcher, so I can be on TV and get rich?
Penniless in Pennsylvania
Dear Apple,
If I do commercials for you, will you give me a computer that works?
Sincerely,
Steven the Dell Dude
Recent Lite Sides
- You Might Be a Computer Geek If..., 06.17. 20 signs that you just might possibly be a computer geek.
- What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
- How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
- iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
- More in the The Lite Side index.
Links for the Day
- Mac of the Day: Mac mini Core Solo, Feb. 2006 - The only Mac to use a Core Solo CPU, this model ran at 1.5 GHz, has integrated graphics, and includes a Combo drive
- Group of the Day: SuperMacs is for those using Umax SuperMac clones.
- November 24 in LEM history: 98: Microsoft's heavy hand - 00: Looking at the iMac - 04: The best Mac for the holidays - Picking the right replacement for a dead mouse - Better battery for 15" AlBook
- Support Low End Mac
Recent Content on Low End Mac
- Pismo WiFi Networking Issue Finally Solved?, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 11.24. It turns out the problems wasn't the Pismo, the Buffalo WiFi card, or Mac OS X 10.4. It was the Wireless G router - Linksys to the rescue!
- Mini VGA to S-video Adapter a No Go for eMacs, Dan Bashur, Apple, Tech, and Gaming, 11.24. You might think that Apple's Mini VGA S-video adapter is a cheap way to connect your eMac or G4 iMac to your TV. You would be wrong.
- Google Calendar with iPhone or iTouch Is Great for Scheduling, John Hatchett, Recycled Computing, 11.24. Web-based Google Calendar allows access and updates from any computing platform, including Mac, Windows, Linux, and iPhone OS.
- Why Spaces is My Favorite Leopard (and Snow Leopard) Feature, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 11.23. Spaces, a feature introduced with OS X 10.5, is like having several monitors on your Mac without the cost and space of using multiple displays.
- i5 iMac Benchmarked, Mac mini 'Shouldn't Be Overlooked', Twitter Client for Classic Mac OS, and More, Mac News Review, 11.20. Also why Apple leaves the low end to others, 10.6.2 fixes video playback problem in 27" iMac, 3D Leopard and Snow Leopard performance, and more.
- Apple's Tablet an End Run Beyond Netbooks, Frank Fox, Stop the Noiz, 11.20. Whatever Apple has planned will leverage existing technologies while going beyond what its competitors can offer.
- Apple #4 in Reliability, Apple Tablet a Gadget for All?, HP's i7 Notebook Outdoes Mac Rivals, and More, The 'Book Review, 11.20. Also Flash 10.1 improves video on Hackintosh netbooks, thin-and-light notebooks impress, Windows XP finally on the way out, and more.
- NASA Chemical Sensor for iPhone, Smartphone Death Match, iPhone Earrings, and More, Ian R Campbell, 11.20. Also mobile phone dangers, new apps, GPS solution for iPod touch, new iPod and iPhone cases, and more.
- More links in our archive.
Recent Deals
- Best G4 iMac Deals, 11.24. Used 15" 700 MHz CD-RW, $150; 800 MHz Combo, $229; 1 GHz, $289; 17" 1.25 GHz, $200; 20" 1.25 GHz, $509.
- Best MacBook Air Deals, 11.24. Used from $899; refurb from $1,099; new 1.6 GHz/120 HD, $1,150 after rebate; 1.8/64 SSD, $1,150 a/r; 1.86/128 SSD, $1,350 a/r; 2.13/128 SSD, $1,694 a/r.
- Best PowerBook G3 Deals, 11.24. Used 233 MHz WallStreet, $75; 266 MHz, $160; 400 MHz Lombard, $199; 400 MHz Pismo, $289; 500 MHz, $350.
- Best 12" PowerBook G4 Deals, 11.23. Used 867 MHz SuperDrive, $348; 1 GHz Combo, $379; SD, $519; 1.33 GHz, $529; 1.5 GHz Combo, $549; SuperDrive, $609.
- Best Mac Pro Deals, 11.23. Used 2.66 GHz 4-core, $1,300; 3.0 4-core. $1,919; refurb 2.66 4-core Nehalem, $2,149; 2.93, $2,549; 2.93 8-core, $4,999; new 2.26 8-core, $2,290.
- Best Time Capsule and AirPort Deals, 11.23. Used 802.11g AirPort Extreme, $49; 500 GB Time Capsule, $150; new, $190; 1 TB dual-band, $280; 2 TB, $469; 802.11n AirPort Extreme, $170.
- Best eMac Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz Combo, $100; SuperDrive, $269; 1.25 GHz Combo, $119; SD, $319; 1.42 GHz Combo, $289; SD, $498.
- Best Mac OS X 10.6 and Mac Box Set Deals, 11.18. "Snow Leopard", single user, $25; 5 users, $45; Mac Box Set, single user, $139; 5 users, $180; Server, $414. Shipping included.
- Best Xserve Deals, 11.18. Used 1 GHz dual G4, $649; 2.3 dual G5, $795; 3.0 4-core Xeon, $1,899; refurb 2.26 4-core, $2,499; new, $2,888; refurb 8-core, $2,999; new, $3,449; more.
- More deals in our archive.
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