Here at the Lite Side we're always anxious to exploit another
person's clever idea. Sometimes it pays off, and sometimes it doesn't.
Luckily for us (or maybe because you're one of the five people who
regularly read this column) no one has objected to these flights of
plagiaristic fancy, so there's no reason we have to apologize to
Rich
Hall before starting
Sniglets for the Mac
floppistation: An older Mac with a built-in floppy drive
networked to your new Mac without one.
$oft drive: An extra external hard drive you use for any
other purpose than data storage, such as a bookend or monitor
stand.
blue screen of debt: This is the screen you get when you have
to pay a bill online before it is due and your browser refuses to
accept the changes.
Trojan corpse: A computer you're afraid to use because you
know it hasn't had its hard drive wiped yet - and you know it is
infected with a virus or worm.
frammistand: A frammistan is a device you don't quite know
what its purpose is, and a frammistand is what you place it on.
dot cobb: When wooing investors at a luncheon meeting, you
always order something that you wouldn't normally eat when alone, such
as a cobb salad.
oh yes 9: The sensation of relief and familiarity when you
switch back to OS 9 to do something you can't figure out in
OS X.
oh yes ecks: The sensation you feel when doing something in
OS X that you used to have to boot into OS 9 to do.
javajavajava: A sudden burst of coding fueled by
caffeine.
cheesypoofs: Fuel.
strawberry poptart: Blowtorch fuel.
tirewire: An unsuccessful search for an appropriate
cable.
random excess memory: Memory you were talked into buying to
solve some problem - but it didn't work.
underwater submarine sandwich: I have no idea what this
is.
Pentiumthol: A drug which, when administered, makes you admit
you don't really understand what a Pentium does.
MAC: Macintosh Antipathy Condition, a disease whose only
symptom is to spell "Mac" in all caps.
mouse squeal: The sound a really old mechanical mouse makes
when its sensor wheel rotates. Alternatively, the sound an optical
mouse makes when scraping across a surface not meant for mice.
CDVD: An optical storage disk which is either a CD or a DVD.
Since it isn't labeled, you can't tell which.
Flash crowd (with additional apologies to Niven): The crowd
that gathers around your desk at work to watch a risqué or
hilarious Flash animation.
lidverage: On an airplane, the amount of force the ridge at
the top of the seat in front of you can put on the lid of your
laptop.
Macrimination: The automatic assumption that whatever is
wrong with the network is caused by the Mac on the network.
