Ever wonder what kind of bedtime stories Mac fanatics tell their
kids at bedtime? I'm sure you've spent many sleepless nights, like I
have, pondering the answer to this fundamental question. Well, Gentle
Reader, put your mind at ease, because you're about to hear one of
those long-forgotten childhood stories we here at the Lite Side
call
The Little Mac That Could
Once upon a time, in a building far, far away, there was a little
computer called Mac. He only had a nine-inch black and white screen and
sported a boxy little mouse. Years ago, he had been brand-new and
exciting. He did many important and interesting jobs. He published
articles in newspapers, printed flyers for yard sales, and made funny
noises when little pictures on the screen were clicked.
Everyone thought he was cute. For the most part, though, he was
pretty lonely, because there were no other computers like him in the
building.
As the years passed, newer and bigger computers were brought into
the building. Some had shinier parts, others had plastic doors on the
front to hold shiny new CD-ROMS, which the little computer could not
read.
Gradually, all of the things the little computer could do were taken
away by bigger, faster computers, and eventually the little computer's
only job was to print multipart forms on an old printer that was not
compatible with any other computer in the building.
One day, the printer broke, and the kindly Engineer who had kept the
little computer running for so many years could not find a replacement
part to fix it. The Big Boss commanded the Engineer to retire the
little computer and move on, since better printers were available and
multipart forms were being phased out in favor of Web-based
documentation.
"Now I'll just fade away, forgotten," thought the little computer.
But the Engineer had fond memories of the little computer, so he set
the little computer in a corner of his office, where he would
occasionally boot it up and play a game or show young workers what
computers used to be like.
One day the Engineer did not come back to work for a long time. The
little computer heard coworkers talking about the Engineer, who had
been "downsized." Now there was no one to pay attention to the little
computer.
Several days later he was removed from his beloved office and put
into storage. For the longest time he sat in a box, collecting dust.
His hard drive slowly degraded from cosmic rays causing random data
fluctuations in his platters. Particles of air leaked into his vacuum
tube, a few at a time. He knew if he ever booted again, the picture
wouldn't be quite as crisp as it was when he was new.
Then, one day, he heard some people talking in the storeroom.
"That virus has shut us down completely," said one.
"Too bad we don't use Macs any more. We could finish that document
the boss wanted done today."
"I thought there was an old Mac around here somewhere..." said the
first.
The little computer heard rustling noises and suddenly saw light for
the first time in many years.
"There is is," said the first voice. It belonged to another
Engineer!
Soon after the little computer felt electricity shoot through its
circuits. It struggled to boot up, but its hard drive was stiff with
age and didn't spin as fast as it should.
"Go, little guy, go," said the new Engineer.
"I think I can," said the little computer to itself. "If I think I
can, then I will. I think I can, I think I can."
Soon the little computer's hard drive was spinning and the operating
system was running. Even though the building's network was not supposed
to be compatible with the little computer's networking protocols, the
young Engineer found an old Farallon LocalTalk-to-Ethernet adapter in
the storeroom and got the computer online.
Fortunately, there was an old printer on the network that was still
Postscript compatible, and so the little computer was soon printing out
view-graphs in black and white, just in time for the Big Boss's
presentation.
Now the little computer sits proudly on a shelf in the young
Engineer's office, and visitors often hear the tale of how the little
computer saved the company from losing an important contract when all
of the other computers were broken because of a virus.
The young engineer always ends the story the same way, too.
"Just because it's old, doesn't mean it isn't useful. Newer isn't
always better."
The End
