The Lite Side

Guide to iPod mini Lingo

- 2004.02.18

My ill-advised and short-lived campaign to rename the iPod mini the miniPod came to an abrupt end when several readers pointed out that there is already a product called the miniPod - some bulbous looking speaker gizmos that look like they may have been organically extruded.

That and the fact that only Jack Miller and I think it's a good idea anyway sort of killed the whole endeavor.

Aaaaanyway, my random thoughts led me to consider a whole new problem that needs solving: iPod mini lingo. That's right, users of the new gizmo will need special terminology to make them feel like they're part of a new, hip crowd.

I'm only too glad to oblige, and I thereby present the Lite Side's

Guide to iPod mini Lingo

iPod many: What Apple wants you to buy.

iPod Mimi: An iPod painted with garish fluorescent colors.

iPod Mickey: When Pixar completes its plan for World Domination® by overwhelming Disney, the mouse will be engraved on the iPod's case.

iPod people: A person who uses an iPod, mini or otherwise.

iPoodle: MP3 player shaped like a small, annoying dog.

iPod mimic: MP3 player knockoff which is looks sorta kinda like an iPod mini.

iPod mummi: A person who wants to be buried with their iPod when they die.

iPod muffi: A person who selects the color of iPod solely to match the color of their shoes.

iPod mufti: A uniform with a special pocket to hold your iPod mini.

iPod fluffi: A fuzzy iPod mini case.

iPod hefti: The non-mini iPod.

iPod crafti: Oh, the things you'll do to get an iPod mini.

iPod sexi: Somehow, you look a little hotter when wearing your iPod mini on your arm.

iPod deli: Special iPod discounts given by local delicatessens.

iPod heli: Small remote control iPod helicopter carrier, used to broadcast signals over a large stadium.

iPod smelli: Don't carry your iPod in your underwear.

iPod realli: What you say to people who ask, "Is that really an iPod mini?"

iPod Willi: What the janitor at Springfield Elementary listens to.

iPod Freddi: What the kid about to be slashed in a horror movie is listening to.

iPod heavy: When you owe the neighborhood protection agency for the iPod you bought, this is the guy they send to collect.

iPod snotti: How everyone else acts when they want you to think the don't really want an iPod mini like yours.

iPod snappi: When someone is angry at the long shipping delay before your new iPod mini arrives, this is how they speak to the customer rep.

iPod silli: How I'd act if Apple gave me an iPod mini for writing this article LEM

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