- 2005.01.07
CUPERTINO.
Apple's attempt to increase its market share by opening the low end
of the market - an unsubstantiated rumor now in it's third
generation of retelling and told so often that the rumor sites are
now reporting on mainstream news outlets reporting on the original
rumor from the rumor sites - has sparked a frenzy of ideas at the
California computer maker.
Among the trial balloons being launched like doves in a
spaghetti western is the idea that to obtain the really really
really low end market (such dollar stores and Big Lots!), and thus
open themselves up to the largest untapped segment of the
marketplace, Apple will begin marketing a 79¢ Mac.
That's right, a 79¢ (not 79 dollars - 79 cents!) Mac.
The sMac will be available at fine retailers including Apple
Stores,
Walmart, 7-Eleven, and the little snack stores attached to
gas stations. You can also order one from the the Apple Store
Online, where it will be available immediately after you read this
press release.
An sMac will be included free with the purchase of every other
Mac, including iBooks, iMacs, eMacs, PowerBooks, and Power
Macintosh computers. It is also included with the iSight, Keynote,
the little adapter thing you buy so you can actually use your flat
panel display, any purchase of an album from the iTunes Music Store
- and all .mac subscribers will receive sixteen of them in the
mail.
Your new sMac will look almost exactly like the computer you
already have, so you'll already be familiar with it. It will have
the same hard drive, the same mouse, the same display, and the same
hard drive. Even the contents of the hard drive will be identical
to your old computer.
When you get your new sMac, it will come in a shiny Mylar®
enclosure that you must remove. A protective cardboard insert will
ensure no damage comes to your sMac when you unwrap it.
As with all Apple products, the packaging is an invitation to
try the product, so a faint whiff of Forest Glen will accompany the
opening of the protective cover, which is impervious to all visible
light as well as dihydrogen oxide
leaks.
sMacs come in a variety of colors. The packaging does not tell
the color of the sMac within, so you may need to purchase several
if you want to have a specific color. Dealers will have identical
quantities of all colors and will not receive additional shipments
their inventory is sold out.
The sMac will be available in Great Britain sometime in 2007,
where it will cost 439 shillings or 42 pounds, whichever is
greater.
The sMac will be available in Snow White, Golden Delicious, Sour
Apple Green, Candy Apple Red, Mac-genta, I've Got the Blues, and
Steve Jobs' Mock Turtleneck Black.
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To initialize your sMac, simply peel off the backing paper and
apply the sMac to the computer you already own.
Now you can own a Mac without paying a premium to Redmond or
Cupertino or anywhere else.
