The Lite Side

Announcements You Didn't Expect at WWDC

, 2005.06.06

Amidst all the hubbub about Apple adopting Intel chips that sent online pundits into spin mode and rotating faster than a pulsar last week, some other unanticipated announcements were made by Apple at the WWDC very, very, very early Monday morning.

Just trying to keep up is making us here at the Lite Side dizzy - that's why we've compiled

Other Announcements You Didn't Expect to Hear at WWDC

  1. From now on, Macs will ship with three button mice, which Steve Jobs explained has never been done right until Apple innovated a new use for the third button - Morse code for text messaging, which we understand is faster than most other text entry systems you find on phones and such.
  2. From now on, the spinning beach ball will be replaced with the user's choice of a spinning meatball, a leaking hourglass, a dog of some breed you can't quite identify leaping and flipping over, and Steve Ballmer doing the "monkey-boy dance."
  3. Kernel Panics will be sold in grocery stores as a breakfast food.
  4. Apple users will be required to enter an activation code to make the Dock appear. Every time. Every activation code costs $0.99 and can only be used once, sorta like a QuickTime Pro license. Oddly, this doesn't work as well as planned for raising revenue.
  5. A kit containing spyware and adware tools is made available to developers. Apple will pay developers $50 for every spybot installed on the theory that it increases the number of programs available for the Mac.
  6. Apple will provide dual-boot Windows XP home-edition and Mac OS X computers for the next three years until the entire Mac OS and software developer kits are completely Longhorn-compatible. Well, maybe sometime in the next five years. Or ten. Depends on when finally Longhorn ships.
  7. Steve Jobs revealed that the entire Intel chip rumor was designed to cause Apple's stock price to fall, giving him an excuse to sue rumor sites for reporting the rumor. The resulting lawsuits will become the basis of an entire course on intellectual property rights at Harvard Law School.
  8. The Apple device that will use the Intel chips is actually a coffee table - with built in cup warmers - and universal built-in television remotes - and a 30,000 GB hard drive - and a FireWire 800 port. It will look suspiciously like an iPod display for a CompUSA store. AirPort Extreme cards will be an add-on. If you pay $10 extra, you can have the modem removed.
  9. Instead of listing items in the Finder as "User" and "Documents" and "Applications", items will now be called "My Applications" and "My Documents" and "My Applications" in an effort to personalize the platform.
  10. Everyone has been mispronouncing the name of the Mac OS X 10.4 operating system. Instead of saying "TIE-GRR", as most people do, the correct pronunciation (as demonstrated by His Steveness) is "TIGG-GURR".

<This article is available in a printer-friendly version.>

Join us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter or Google+, or subscribe to our RSS news feed

Today's Links

Recent Content

About LEM Support Usage Privacy Contact

Low End Mac is an independent publication and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Apple Inc. Opinions expressed are those of their authors and may not reflect the opinion of Cobweb Publishing. Advice is presented in good faith, but what works for one may not work for all.
  Entire Low End Mac website copyright ©1997-2016 by Cobweb Publishing, Inc. unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Low End Mac, LowEndMac, and lowendmac.com are trademarks of Cobweb Publishing Inc. Apple, the Apple logo, Macintosh, iPad, iPhone, iMac, iPod, MacBook, Mac Pro, and AirPort are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. Additional company and product names may be trademarks or registered trademarks and are hereby acknowledged.
  Please report errors to .
  LINKS: We allow and encourage links to any public page as long as the linked page does not appear within a frame that prevents bookmarking it.
  Email may be published at our discretion unless marked "not for publication"; email addresses will not be published without permission, and we will encrypt them in hopes of avoiding spammers. Letters may be edited for length, context, and to match house style.
  PRIVACY: We don't collect personal information unless you explicitly provide it, and we don't share the information we have with others. For more details, see our Terms of Use.

Follow Low End Mac on Twitter
Join Low End Mac on Facebook

Page not found | Low End Mac

Well this is somewhat embarrassing, isn’t it?

It seems we can’t find what you’re looking for. Perhaps searching, or one of the links below, can help.

Recent Posts

Most Used Categories

Archives

Try looking in the monthly archives. :)

Tags

802.11g 802.11n 68030 68040 Apple April Fools clamshell iBook Classic Mac OS FireWire FireWire 400 G3 humor iBook iMac iMac G3 Intel iOS iPad iPhone LaserWriter Linux Mac MacBook Air Mac clones Mac mini Mac OS 9 macOS Sierra Mac OS X Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Microsoft OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard OS X 10.7 Lion OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion OS X 10.9 Mavericks OS X 10.10 Yosemite OS X 10.11 El Capitan Performa PowerBook PowerPC Rodney O. Lain SCSI Thunderbolt USB 1.1 USB 2.0
Page not found | Low End Mac

Well this is somewhat embarrassing, isn’t it?

It seems we can’t find what you’re looking for. Perhaps searching, or one of the links below, can help.

Recent Posts

Most Used Categories

Archives

Try looking in the monthly archives. :)

Tags

802.11g 802.11n 68030 68040 Apple April Fools clamshell iBook Classic Mac OS FireWire FireWire 400 G3 humor iBook iMac iMac G3 Intel iOS iPad iPhone LaserWriter Linux Mac MacBook Air Mac clones Mac mini Mac OS 9 macOS Sierra Mac OS X Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Microsoft OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard OS X 10.7 Lion OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion OS X 10.9 Mavericks OS X 10.10 Yosemite OS X 10.11 El Capitan Performa PowerBook PowerPC Rodney O. Lain SCSI Thunderbolt USB 1.1 USB 2.0

Favorite Sites

MacSurfer
Cult of Mac
Shrine of Apple
MacInTouch
MyAppleMenu
InfoMac
The Mac Observer
Accelerate Your Mac
RetroMacCast
The Vintage Mac Museum
Deal Brothers
DealMac
Mac2Sell
Mac Driver Museum
JAG's House
System 6 Heaven
System 7 Today
the pickle's Low-End Mac FAQ

Affiliates

Amazon.com
The iTunes Store
PC Connection Express
Macgo Blu-ray Player
Parallels Desktop for Mac
eBay

Low End Mac's Amazon.com store

Advertise

All of our advertising is handled by BackBeat Media. For price quotes and advertising information, please contact Page not found | Low End Mac

Well this is somewhat embarrassing, isn’t it?

It seems we can’t find what you’re looking for. Perhaps searching, or one of the links below, can help.

Recent Posts

Most Used Categories

Archives

Try looking in the monthly archives. :)

Tags

802.11g 802.11n 68030 68040 Apple April Fools clamshell iBook Classic Mac OS FireWire FireWire 400 G3 humor iBook iMac iMac G3 Intel iOS iPad iPhone LaserWriter Linux Mac MacBook Air Mac clones Mac mini Mac OS 9 macOS Sierra Mac OS X Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Microsoft OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard OS X 10.7 Lion OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion OS X 10.9 Mavericks OS X 10.10 Yosemite OS X 10.11 El Capitan Performa PowerBook PowerPC Rodney O. Lain SCSI Thunderbolt USB 1.1 USB 2.0
at BackBeat Media (646-546-5194). This number is for advertising only.

Open Link