Vista Pun Headlines Evade Editors
Low End Mac Reader Specials
Memory To Go Special: MacPro 8 Core Memory 4GB kit $154 / 2GB kit $94, New 2008 iMac 2GB $46. MacBook Pro / MacMini / iMac Intel Core2 DUO 2GB $44 / 1GB $23--Free shipping available.
Download Typestyler, still the Ultimate Styling Tool for Internet, Print and Video Graphics. Works great in Classic with a Native OS X Version on the way. Free Tryout: www.typestyler.com
LA Computer Company: Specials on AppleCare, iMac's, Apple Batteries and Apple A/C Adapters. Also Great prices on Used Apple Computers. Call 1-800-941-7654 Click Here.
OWC: OWC Mercury On-The-Go FW400/800/USB2/eSATA Portables High Performance A/V Rated, **Bus Powered** **Up to 500GB in the Palm of your Hand** Macworld Editor's Choice, CNET 'Very Good' - from $75.99!
Mac users can finally play Party Poker for Mac. Not only that, they can also learn how to play PokerStars for Mac.
Laptop Hardware Provided by TechRestore - Overnight Mac & iPod Repairs.
Compare products like desktop computers, laptops, and LCD TVs side by side! All the information and reviews to make the best purchasing decision for a new cell phone GPS products or MP3 players. The Ciao network makes searching products easy for you.
New MacPro Memory 800Mhz With Apple Spec Heat Sink 2GB $104 / 4GB $172 / 8GB $338. Click to Maximize your Macs...
- 2006.04.04
I think I've figured out the secret of Apple's success and why it enjoys so much good press. It's because it's easy to write a cute headline playing on the word "apple". How many headlines have we seen that sound like "Apple's Core Is Rotten","Apples for the Teacher", "Jobs Job Is Polishing the Apple", and "Red Delicious McIntosh Apples have Nothing to Do With the Beatles, So Will You Guys Please Stop Harassing Us?"
With all these cute titles, Headline Editors (oh yes, there are Headline Editors) say to themselves, "I've got a cute idea for a headline for your Mac article," whereupon the writer of said article rolls his eyes so far back in his head he has to go get Lasik™ just so he can see out of the bottom of his eyeballs.
My point (and I do have one) is that you just can't write cute headlines using the word "Vista." Believe me, I tried. Looking into the Lite Side's Ripping Headlines from the Future-o-matic, I took notes and hereby present
Vista Headlines We're Likely to See in the Near Future
- Vista Shipping: "Verily, I See This Ain't Shipping"
- Microsoft Invisitagates New Windows OS Delays
- Users Look Through Windows and See XP, not Vista
- Current Windows Users Prefer to Remain Vistal Virgins
- Microsoft Chooses Ballmer as the New Vistage of Windows
- Microsoft's Bitter Pill: Vistamins
- First There Was Virtual Reality; Microsoft Explores Vistal Reality
- Virtual Vista Visits Very Soon Now
- Vista Keeps on Slippin', Slippin', Slippin' into the Future....
- Like a Sleepy Classmate, Microsoft Unable to Keep Up Even When Merely Copying
- Which Came First, OS X or the Ovista?
- Young Programmers Become Vistao-sos of the Service Pack
- Granny Says It'll Be a While Longer Till the Vistuals Are Ready
- Microsoft Decides Divistature Is Best; Abandons New OS for Revised Version of XP
I trust my point is made. These headlines suck. No Headline Editor in his right mind will be able to write a decent Vista headline. Therefore, they'll pass the article on to the night shift, and soon, like an old fruitcake, the article will return to the original editor, who will recognize it as yesterday's news and toss it in the can.
Good Luck, Vista copywriters. You're gonna need it. 
Addendum: I just couldn't pass this one up. The funniest Vista pun was made by reader Henry Huang, who tells us that when the deadline for Vista recedes into the future, or as users leave Vista for some other OS, they can say, "Hasta La Vista, Baby!"
Recent Lite Sides
- What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
- How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
- iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
- Pigs fly, snow in Death Valley, and Dvorak uses a Mac, 08.03. What has the world come to when John Dvorak, founding member of the Axis of Macevil, walks into the temple of All Things Macintosh?
- More in the The Lite Side index.
Links for the Day
- Mac of the Day: PowerBook 190cs, Aug. 1995 - The last 680x0-based PowerBook could take a PowerPC upgrade.
- List of the Day: Apple TV List The Apple TV List is a forum to discuss the Apple TV.
- August 28 in LEM history: 95: PowerBook Duo 2300 - 00: Gaming on older Power Macs - 01: AppleShare on Linux - From Beebs and Acorns to Macs - 02: Sleep of Death, - Think smarter? - It's the software, stupid - 06: PowerBook 5300 reminiscence - You might be a Mac fanatic if... - Hiding complexity behind elegant simplicity
Recent Content on Low End Mac
- 10 Mac Browsers Compared, Simon Royal, Mac Spectrum, 08.28. A look at Internet Explorer, Radon, Opera, Safari, Shiira, iCab, Firefox, Netscape Navigator, Flock, and Camino running in Leopard.
- Clone and Boot: Another Advantage of the Mac OS, Kev Kitchens, Kitchens Sync, 08.28. Unlike Windows, Apple makes it possible to clone a bootable drive (Classic Mac OS or OS X) and use it with another supported Mac.
- Best MacBook Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.28. Used 1.83 GHz, $799; 2.0 black, $875; refurb 2.1 GHz, $899; 2.4, $1,099; black, $1,299; new 2.1, $1,019 after rebate; 22, $1,094; 2.4, $1,219 a/r; black, $1,394 a/r.
- Best iMac G5 Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.28. Used 17" 1.6 GHz Combo, $499; 1.8 SuperDrive, $530; 2.0, $600; 1.9 iSight, $625; 20" 1.8 GHz, $580; 2.0, $650; 2.1 iSight, $700.
- Best classic Mac OS Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.28. System 6, $10; 7.1, $12; 7.5.1, $4; Mac OS 7.6, $13; 8.0, $13; 8.1, $48; 8.5, $25; 8.6, $20; 9.0, $20; 9.2.2, $20; more.
- CrossOver Strikes Out, Frank Fox, Stop the Noiz, 08.27. Running Windows apps on a Mac without paying for Windows is great in theory, but actually getting Windows software working is another story.
- MacDrought: 4 Months with No New Macs, Dan Knight, Mac Musings, 08.27. The most recent Mac update was over four months ago, and the Mac mini has been unchanged for over a year.
- Resurrecting a Dead Pismo, Spotlight Search Tip, and EasyFind a Good File Finder, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 08.27. Lots of tips on bringing a comatose Pismo back to life, a Spotlight file name search tip, and EasyFind as an alternative to Spotlight.
- Best Intel iMac Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.27. Used 17" 1.83 GHz, $625; 20", $599; 2.16, $749; 24", $950; refurb 20" 2.4, $999; 2.66, $1,299; 24" 2.4, $1,299; 2.8, $1,549; new 3.06, $2,094 after rebate; more.
- Best 15" PowerBook G4 Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.27. Used 1.25 GHz Combo, $600; SuperDrive, $650; 1.33 Combo, $640; 1.5, $680; SD, $725; 1.67, $730; hi-res, $800.
- Best Time Capsule and AirPort Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.27. 500 GB Time Capsule, $294; 1 TB, $468; AirPort Extreme Card, $39; 802.11n Base Station, $166; 802.11g AirPort Express, $60; 802.11n, $98.
- Does Running OS X System Maintenance Routines Really Do Any Good?, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 08.26. Mac OS X is designed to run certain maintenance routines daily, weekly, and monthly - but can't if your Mac is off or asleep.
- Purposeful Reincarnation for Old Macs, Phil Herlihy, The Usefulness Equation, 08.26. The key is to avoid spending more on upgrades than the final use of the machine can justify.
- Best Power Mac G5 Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.26. Used 1.6 GHz single SuperDrive, C$499; 1.8, $569; dual, $675, 2.0, $800; 2.3, C$899; 2.5, C$1,199; 2.7, $1,225; 2.5 Quad, $1,500.
- Best 17" MacBook Pro Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.26. Used 2.16 GHz Core Duo, $1,330; 2.33 C2D, $1,689; refurb, 2.4, $1,899; new, $2,099; 2.5, $2,558 after rebate; 2.6 Santa Rosa, $2,399 a/r; more.
- Best iPod shuffle Deals, Low End Mac Deals, 08.26. Refurb 3G 1 GB, $39; new 3G, $45; refurb 2 GB, $59; new, $68.
- More links in our archive.
About LEM | Support | Usage | Privacy | Contacts
Have a question?
Ask an expert!
Navigation
Used Mac Dealers
Apple History
Best Used Macs
Video Cards
Email Lists
InfoMac's Low
End Mac Forum
Favorite Sites
MacSurfer
MacMinute
MacInTouch
MyAppleMenu
InfoMac
Macs Only!
The Mac Observer
Accelerate Your Mac
RetroMacCast
PB Central
MacWindows
The Vintage Mac
Museum
DealMac
DealsOnTheWeb
Mac2Sell
ramseeker
Mac Driver Museum
JAG's House
System
6 Heaven
System 7 Today
the pickle's Low-End
Mac FAQ
Abandonware
Petition
Mac vs. PC Info
Affiliates
The Apple
Store
Mac
Connection
MacMall
TechRestore
MacResQ
ExperCom
Crucial
Memory
batteries.com
Advertise
