The Lite Side

iPods That Never Passed Beta or Focus Groups

- 2007.09.13

So Apple has revamped the iPod line again, adding an iPod touch, renaming the iPod video an iPod classic, and adding a video screen to the nano.

What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage. Dumpster diving at Apple Headquarters used to be a favorite pastime, but man it is hard to stitch all those little shredder strips together again. Nevertheless, we here at the lite side are proud to bring you

Apple's iPod Variants They Left on the Tree

  • iPod wristwatch: This iPod comes with a built-in wrist band and has one more menu item: Wristwatch Display.
  • iPhone iPod: This variant of the iPhone has a docking station in it for the iPod nano.
  • StereoPods: Two iPods, miniaturized to the size of hearing aids, synchronized via Bluetooth to play one channel (each) for about seventeen seconds.
  • iPodPlasma: A 110-inch plasma screen TV with a built-in, non-removable iPod.
  • StevePod: Steve Jobs' iPod with 2 TB storage capacity with a small video projector for a screen; available 3Q 2017.
  • SegPod: A Segway with a built-in iPod.
  • Podway: An iPod with a built-in Segway.
  • PeaPod: An iPod delivered in a cute floral arrangement.
  • aPlod: An iPod for actors.
  • Operation Enduring iPod: a sandproof, bulletproof, satellite enabled iPod. Cost: $23 million.
  • embeddiPod: Subcutaneous iPod. You heard it here first.
  • Thomas the Tank Pod: Thomas needs to deliver a musical interlude to Sir Topham Hatt! Can he figure out the menus in time?
  • Walt Disney's Brother Pod: Sold in pairs, one classic and one nano, targeted at bears that happen to be different sizes but brothers.

The rest of the memo was soaked in Apple Color LaserWriter fuser oil, and was unreadable.

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