Rodney O. Lain - 1999.06.23
This article was originally published on The
iMac.com, a site which no longer exists. It is copyright 1999 by
RAC Enterprises, which also seems to no longer exist. It is thus
reprinted here without permission (which we would gladly obtain if
possible). Links have been retained when possible, but many go to
the Internet Wayback
Machine.
No one ever went broke underestimating the
intelligence of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken, iconcoclast and candidate for a Think Different
ad
I'm indebted to MacToday
magazine.
If any magazine embodies the spirit of the Apple-loving,
PC-hating Mac user, it's got to be this one. Each issue, the staff
dishes out information on the Mac while simultaneously lampooning
the Wintel community. In a word, these guys have an "attitude." I
liked that from the first day that I ran across their website and
saw the sub-title that used to grace the front cover: "A
PC-bashing, totally-biased look at the Mac."
The paths of kindred spirits met that day; it was an emotional
moment for me...
For the last few issues, MacToday has been running what has
turned out to be one of my favorite features: they've been quoting
from PC World magazine,
showing that that rag actually chronicles the woes of being a
PeeCee user on a regular basis. The basic premise of the series is
this: if you think Mac users are lying to you when we tell you how
much of a pain it is to use Windows-based computers, then don't
believe us - read it from the horse's mouth. The editors and
writers at PC World bash Microsoft, Bill Gates, and Windows as much
as MacToday does when it's in rare form. When MacToday first ran
this series, I thought they were exaggerating and taking stuff our
of context from PC World (not that there's anything wrong with
that). Even so, at the end of each of these stories, MacToday
encourages you to subscribe to PC World, listing their 1-800 number
and subscription price ($19.97).
Sheer comic genius.
Well, since I need to keep abreast of the PC community, I took
them up on the suggestion. Besides, it's also good to "know thy
enemy." As the Godfather says, "hold your friends close; hold your
enemies closer."
Now, as many of you know, I work at CompUSA on the weekends. As
the loudest Mac fanatic there, my managers asked me to team up with
the Apple rep and teach two sales classes this week, as part of
CompUSA's new initiative to brush up its sales staff on things
Macintosh. Pressed for time, I needed some unbiased and up-to-date
information on how the Mac measures up against the PeeCee. Info
that especially tells the ugly truth about Wintel's "ease of use"
(to the guys at MacToday: sorry, but I can't always quote you when
trying to convert the PeeCee lovers; I've found that it's not
always the most effective means of persuasion :-). I couldn't find
any such material, and I started to panic, since I needed answers
quick.
Solution: I just received the first issue of my PC World
subscription today. Hallelujah.
Keeping up with Apple, one year late
People want to disparage Apple because they've abandoned the
floppy drive on all desktop and portable Macs. Well, lookee here at
what I foundÖ
I turn to the first page of the magazine and see an editorial
titled
"Kill Floppies, Not Time." Here, PC World's editorial director
says that the "3.5-inch floppy disk drive is as ancient as the Dead
Sea Scrolls." He goes on to say that an "industry-standard
replacement for the 1.44 MB drive is long overdue." He continues
his tirade by saying, "One thing's certain: The industry's excuses
for staying with 1.44 MB floppies won't fit on a 1.44 MB floppy"
(page 19, June 1999 issue).
Wow. PC World is demanding that PeeCee manufacturers get rid of
floppies - almost a year after Apple shows the guts and foresight
by gets rid of them without any external pressure to do so :-) Now
weren't these the same PeeCee journalists people talking about how
the iMac was doomed because it had no floppy?
There's a saying about great ideas: when they're first
introduced, they're usually considered stupid; when they're
inevitably accepted, they're considered obvious.
"What's Good for Micro$oft Is Good for the Nation"
Remember that comment being made when the Department of Justice
was telling Micro$oft not to ship Windows 98 with an incorporated
Internet "It's-an-Integral-Part-of-the-OS" Explorer? Of course you
do. That's "night."
Now, flash forward several months to PC World magazine. That's
"day." Put together, that's night-and-day difference in opinion,
for those of you who didn't follow meÖ
Before I can even make it through all of the Microsoft- and
PeeCee propaganda in the June issue I just received, I get the July
1999 issue. Hey, there's more info/ammo in there for my store
presentation; again, it begins with the lead editorial (page 17),
this time written by PC World's Editor in Chief. She spreads FUD
(Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt) about the idea that AT&T has
merged with Media One (a large cable company), giving them a
monopoly weighing in at "more than 60 percent of households" in
America. This isn't the editor's reason for alarm, though: instead,
she argues that real threat is the fact that
Micro$oft has contracts with the cable conglomerate to provide
Windoze 2000 as the server OS for AT&T's venture, as well
as providing WebTV support:
The Year 2000 comes and goes with no sign of cable
access because Windows 2000 still isn't shipping. On the other
hand, if Win 2000 does ship, rebooting your TV suddenly becomes the
least of your worries. Now the cable company has to reboot its Win
2000 servers a couple of times a day. Meanwhile, you upgrade Win CE
with the latest service pack, though CE still doesn't sync
properly with [Win] 2000. Or you need to upgrade your set-top box
to handle the new software, but the box you want comes with a Java
operating system that refuses to work quite right with Microsoft's
software. Then hackers infiltrate the system and broadcast your
bedroom activities over the Web, but you can't make your way
through voice-mail hell to reach Microsoft and AT&T customer
support. And to top it off, you can't decipher your exorbitant
cable Internet-TV phone bill, but you think you're getting
double-charged. You get the idea (page 17, July 1999 issue).
Oh I get the idea; I really do. Folks, I am not making this
stuff up.
Internet "Exploder"?
Page 45 has an article titled
"Internet Explorer 5 Survival Guide." Here's just an example of
the nuisances that users must face with the latest upgrade to the
browser that Micro$oft gave away for free in order to crush
Netscape:
Bug: Web pages appear blank or only partially rendered, even
though IE 5 displays a 'Done' message in the status bar
Bug: Outlook Express 5.0 mail and news reader lacks a spelling
checker
PC World on Micro$oft Windows: Thanks, but No Thanks
The cover story for this July issue is
"Best of '99." Under the section
"Business Software," I had to laugh when I read that the pick
for "Best Operating System" had the following response given:
None, Sorry (their emphases, not mine).
So, let me get this straight: even though it's the only
mainstream OS for the PeeCee, with no competition for the
mainstream user, Micro$oft can't even be ranked the best OS out of
a field of one! And to add insult to injury, right under that
entry, there is a "Best Application Suite" spot, in which PC World
voted for Microsoft Office 97. We're not sold on [Office]
2000 yet" (again, their emphasis).
On the bottom of this same page (page 105) is also PC World's
"No-Class Awards." Two men shared the award: Vice President Al
Gore and world ruler Bill Gates. PC World notes that during the
anti-trust trial, Billy Gates failed to remember the meaning of the
words "competition," "bugs," "backwards compatible," and "the
product will be released on time." The best line Bill Gates quote
of all: "I have no idea what you're talking about when you say
'ask.'"
Again, I am not making this up.
Coincidence . . . or Conspiracy?
I could go on, but then I don't want to reveal and steal all of
MacToday's material for their next column on PC World. And, also,
I'm stopping because I now have more than enough material for my
CompUSA presentation.
Jim Workman and Scott Kelby (co-editors in chief of MacToday),
thank you for advising readers to subscribe to that fine magazine
(don't worry; I subscribed to yours long ago ;-).
And you, gentle reader, if you're getting the urge to buy a
PeeCee, first be sure to get a subscription to PC World, the
magazine that gives you "a PC-bashing, totally-biased look at the
Mac."
"PC-bashing," hunh?
Wonder if they need an additional columnist?
Rodney O. Lain, a former university English and
journalism instructor, works full-time as a software developer and
works part-time at a local CompUSA Apple Store Within A Store. A
card-carrying member of the local Macintosh User Group Mini'app'les, Rodney writes this
column exclusively for theimac.com. His greatest desire is to
become an African-American Guy Kawasaki. A self-professed
"workaholic writer," he waxes prolifically about race, religion,
and the "right OS" at
"Free Your Mind & Your Behind Will Follow", his unabashedly
pro-Mac website. When he's not cranking out his column, he collects
John Byrne comic books, jogs, and attempts to complete his first
novel. He lives in Eagan, Minnesota, a southern suburb of St.
Paul.
