Bong! . . . :-) . . . Welcome to Macintosh!
Around these parts, folks don't want to talk about it. The
memories of that tragic day stick in the minds of everyone.
Those who are willing to talk about it say they never saw it
coming. As kind, warm, inviting and smiley as he was, they wonder
how he could be murdered in cold blood after 18 years
. . . cut down in the prime of his life.
He was special, and how he gave people a feeling of peace and
comfort seems to be the most fitting description of the bludgeoned
victim.
Who am I
talking about? He's otherwise known as the Happy Mac that graced
Macintosh screens from 1984 until 2002, when "Jaguar" (Mac
OS X 10.2) was released.
For 18 years, the Happy Mac - with it's infectious smile and
simple, yet classy look - invited Mac users to a new day of work or
play during startup. He was easy to spot because of his smile,
unlike his twin brother, the Sad Mac, who always frowned and was
accompanied by a row of seemingly random letters and numbers,
depending on mood, below that frown.
For a short time, many
thought Sad Mac was the culprit, but DNA tests performed during the
autopsy exonerated him.
The Happy Mac's death came on August 24, 2002 when Mac OS X
10.2 (a.k.a. Jaguar) was released. Many people I spoke to even
remember the breaking news report on the local TV news. One woman
taped the news report:
"Police are on the scene of a gruesome murder that
took place on the Apple Campus in Cupertino. The icon, which was
identified as the Happy Mac, was found dead in File 13 with a slash
mark across it. Investigators from the FBI have been brought in to
investigate the murder. A motive has not yet been determined.
Investigators are currently speaking to the Apple Campus security
guard who was on duty when the murder occurred. The icon was found
by the security guard this morning at around 9 a.m. The Happy Mac
was 18 years old."
"This is not the first time a murder has been
committed on the Apple Campus. Over the years there have been a
string of deaths reported here. In the span of almost three
decades, the list of 
deaths include the Apple III, the Apple II family, the
prominent Lisa family, the Newton family, Clarus the Dogcow,
HyperCard, and even a whole
online town, known as eWorld,
was slaughtered. These are still unsolved crimes. We'll keep you
up-to-date with any late-breaking developments."
Police found the Happy Mac lifeless on the Apple campus in
Cupertino when they reached the scene. An autopsy confirmed what
many had suspected - The Happy Mac was murdered by way of outright
slashing from the Mac ROM. The coroner believes the death happened
instantly. Police and investigators questioned the Apple icon, who
replaced the Happy Mac immediately after his death. He said he knew
nothing of the incident, adding that he was brought in at the last
minute.
After a thorough investigation, it was determined who in fact
slaughtered the Happy Mac. Apple Computer Inc. (now known as Apple
Inc.) was ultimately deemed the main suspect, with OS X linked
as a coconspirator. Although it was never confirmed, many believe
Steve Jobs, the cofounder and current CEO of Apple Inc.,
masterminded the murder. Many suspect him because it's not his
first murder.
Townfolk believe he was the one who orchestrated the 1998 murder
of the beloved Newton family. It's also well known that Steve
personally buried the Classic Mac OS on May 6, 2002. Police and
investigators believe there's a link between the murder of the
Happy Mac and the murder of Clarus the Dogcow, who was killed in
the same fashion. Many believe Jobs staged her murder as well. Andy
Hertzfeld and Susan Kare, widely known as the parents of the Happy
Mac, were unavailable for comment.
I recently talked with Bondo
Clickster, who, as many know, I interviewed late last year. He
is the head of the NAHPMA (National Apple Hockey Puck Mouse
Association). When I asked him what he thought of the murder of the
Happy Mac, he said, "Ya know, I was rolling around in a daze when I
saw it on the news. Him and I were tight, and I mean tight.
During the day, we hooked up on many different Macintoshes and
worked hard as a team. After work, we used to go out on the town
cruisin' for mice and icons down at the local ResEdit. He always
had that charm, ya know, that smile. He always got the respect. He
was da icon! I and all my hockey puck friends miss him dearly."
When I asked if he thought Steve Jobs had murdered the Happy
Mac, he said, "Heck yeah! I wouldn't put it past him. He's evil,
brother, pure evil. He never gave the Happy Mac any respect; he was
always dissin' him ya know? Yeah, I believe he took him out."
Apple Inc. and Mac OS X were never charged with the murder, as
no concrete evidence was ever uncovered. This injustice has angered
many who loved the Happy Mac. The new kid in town, the gray Apple
logo, is shunned to this day due to the fact that he replaced the
Happy Mac.
Many remember the Happy Mac fondly. One man said, "On any given
day, you could boot up a Macintosh, and there he was, letting you
know everything was gonna be alright. He had that kind of
personality. He was a huge part of the Macintosh experience. He's
sorely missed by us all."
Will the perpetrators ever be brought to justice for the
gruesome murder of the Happy Mac? Many around here have given up
hope, as they believe a secret deal between the government and
Apple Inc., along with OS X, was made, granting the two immunity if
they agreed to turn state's evidence against Microsoft and his two
youngest sons, Windows XP and Vista.
One thing's for sure - the Happy Mac will always be remembered
for the joy he brought to the hearts of many Macintosh users around
the world. In fact, I try to keep the memory of the Happy Mac alive
in the intro to each of my articles, as it mimics the startup
routine on old-world Macintoshes. First the startup sound, then the
Happy Mac smiling, then Welcome to Macintosh.
Happy Mac, may you rest in peace.
What are your memories of the Happy Mac? Feel free to share them
with me at thomas (at) lowendmac (dot) com. 
A Personal Note
I'd like to take a moment to dedicate this article to my good
friend, Alex. She's been battling cancer for the better part of
this year. You are a very strong and very brave woman. You've made
such a major impact on my life that words simply cannot express it.
I pray for you every second. Keep fighting, stay strong, and trust
in God. Thank you for being a blessing in my life!
First and foremost, I thank God for giving me this wonderful
opportunity to do what I love best, to write. Without Him, I would
truly be lost.
I'd like to personally thank Dan Knight for bringing me aboard
Low End Mac a year ago today. Thanks for hanging in there with me,
for being a mentor and a friend, as well as a great boss.
I'd like to thank those I interviewed for taking the time to
allow me to interview you. I've enjoyed every interview thoroughly
and gained new insights because of them.
I'd like to thank my family and friends for giving me the
encouragement to continue to write. Your support has meant and will
continue to mean a lot to me.
Last, but not least, I want to thank you, the readers. Without
your support, Low End Mac simply would not exist today. I thank you
wholeheartedly for reading my articles, whether you emailed me with
your thoughts or not, whether you agreed with my opinions or not. I
write for you, as all the writers here at Low End Mac do.
Thanks for making my first year here at Low End Mac a great one!
God willing, I pray I can write for Low End Mac for a long time to
come. I will do my best to write articles that you all will
hopefully enjoy, because I feel if you take the time to read an
article of mine, you deserve something worth of reading and worthy
of your time. Thank you again for reading and for your support.
Tommy
