WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!
Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Institute for the Investigation of
Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet
users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to
believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire
warning that shows up in their Inbox or on their browser. The
Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe
and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes,
email viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes [perhaps
conspiracy theories should be included here].
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy
lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said.
"Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same
stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However,
once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus,
they believe anything they read on the Internet.
"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone,"
reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and
sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the
messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard
about 'Good Times,' I just accepted it without question. After all,
there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I
thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim
said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and
state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she
is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she
says.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of
the virus, which include the following:
the willingness to believe improbable stories without
thinking
the urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to
others
a lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a
story is true
T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one
reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost
all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using
shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T . C. said he
would stop reading e-mail, so that he would not become
infected.
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help
immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of
gullibility, Internet users rush to their favorite search engine
and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most
hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and
exposed by the Internet community.
Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and
there is online help from many sources, including
Those people who are still symptom free can help inoculate
themselves against the Gullibility Virus by reading some good
material on evaluating sources, such as
Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out
the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone
who forwards them a hoax.
Forward this message to all your friends right away! Don't think
about it! This is not a chain letter! This story is true! Don't
check it out! This story is so timely, there is no date on it! This
story is so important, we're using lots of exclamation points!!!
For every message you forward to some unsuspecting person, the Home
for the Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten cents to itself. (If
you wonder how the Home will know you are forwarding these messages
all over creation, you're obviously thinking too much.)
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