The Lite Side

Dell's 'Out of Whack' Memory Pricing Scheme

- 2005.02.08

Following a link from Slashdot, I read "Dell prices out of whack, security company fights back" at InfoWorld, which contained this little gem:

"Reader Mark C. ... discovered something curious: Dell.com was charging different prices for identical products. Depending on the link he followed, the 256 MB SIMM cost either $88 (Small Business), $99 (Home & Home Office), or $110 (Medium & Large Business). A Dell spokesmaven says that's just the way they do things: Each segment sets its own pricing, and consumers are free to pick the one that's cheapest..."

Which inspired me to share with you a recently uncovered corporate memo from Dell which we here at the Lite Side like to call

Dell Price List for 256 MB SIMM

Price per module unless otherwise noted. Simply identify which group you belong to!

$-500,000 - Bill Gates, keep those CIO's happy. We'll look out for ya Bill

$-50,000 - CIOs of large companies

$-4,000 - CIOs of small companies

$-4.98 - Larry the Computer Guy who works for you part-time down at the Suds Shack

$0 - Purchasers of a Dell Confabulation

$1 - Any customer thinking of abandoning Macs for PCs

$1.98 - That guy who knows someone who works at Dell

$4 - Donut guy in the coach in the Dell back lot

$13 - Teachers

$22 - Guys Who Wear Wingtips to Meetings Involving the Budget

$45 - Plumbers and other service professionals

$88 - Small Business

$90 - Windows XP users who have not applied SP2

$92 - Linux users

$99 - Home and Home Office

$104 - People who work at Home Part Time but Work at a Small Business the Rest of The Time

$110 - Medium and Large Business

$159.99 - People who buy things from shopping networks

$290 - School IT Departments in districts with over 50,000 students

$429 - Users of Microsoft Bob

$549 - Me

$623 - Web shoppers not using IE

$942 - Mac Users

$1,100 - Steven the Dell Dude (thanks for nothing, pal)

$1,349 - Mac Users shopping via the Web, not using IE (in addition to Mac tax of $942) because, after all, it costs more to develop RAM for the Mac

$2,093 - Attorneys

$5,892 - Manufacturers of Windows-based sewing machines (per gross)

$11,318 - U.S. Military (each, hardened against electromagnetic impulse)

$1.2 million - NASA (purchased and launched about 15 years ago; current value including inflation)

$8.5 million - Lottery Winners

$12.5 million - Office of Homeland Security

$98.5 million - Donald Trump

$785 million - Steve Jobs

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