Everyone has a list. I have lists of lists - even boxes of lists of
lists. They are stored in a government warehouse-like room, formerly
known as my garage. It's filled with boxes full of junk worth less than
the expensive Gorilla racks I got from Home Depot to set them on.
Anyway, here is one of those lists.
Funny Stuff on the Web
If one of these things doesn't make you laugh right out loud and
snort milk all over the cafeteria table (yes, I once told a joke so
funny I made someone snort milk out of her nose all over a cafeteria
table, and although she denies it to this very day, I know it happened
even though I can't remember just what it was that I said), then I'm
just not doing my job. Oh yeah, and a lot of this has to do with Apple
and Macs, so it's kind of relevant to this site. I guess.
Despair.com
Ever seen one of those little motivational rocks you get when you go
to a motivational rock concert, er, seminar? Yeah, the ones that say,
"There's nowhere to go but up!" The kind of thing companies buy
millions of just before they up and do an Enron. (Before they get
Enronized. Before they Enron all over the floor. I don't think the
whole Enron thing has been properly verb-ized just yet.) Well, these
guys at Despair.com make
demotivational posters that really tell it like it is. My
favorite: Incompetence. "When you earnestly believe you can compensate
for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what
you can't do." Substitute "megahertz" for "efforts," and it gets even
better.
Crazy Apple Rumors
I have a dream that someday, I'll write a rumor as convincing as
something Anne Onymus did when she got
Slashdotted, that someday, I'll be corporate enough to write for
satirewire.com, and
somehow, someway, I'll get published on Crazy Apple Rumors and make the
whole world laugh with me, instead of at me. Seriously, these people at
Crazy Apple Rumors need help. Send them money. But only after you send
us money first.
Satirewire.com
DATELINE: Tacoma Narrows Bridge, Washington. Microsoft denied today
that sympathetic vibrations from the multiple cooling fans of Pentium
IV processors running Windows XP were the forced oscillators that
caused the
second bridge in history to collapse over this famous gorge. In an
unrelated development, the Microsoft headquarters in Redmond,
Washington experienced a structural collapse due to metal fatigue.
(Caution: Satirewire is
targeted at an adult audience and can sometimes contain offensive
language.)
Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches
Do not try this
at home. Required reading for science students.
American Science Surplus
Where else can you get giant inflatable insects for $3.25 each?
Triangular highlighters with a pen tip on each corner for $2.25 (pkg.
3). Strobe light inside a black plastic skull for $24.95? 1000 crayons
for $25?
This is where you find the good
stuff!
Dave Barry
I am not allowed to read Dave
Barry late at night in bed because I invariably wake up my wife
laughing so hard I shake the bed. That's not easy to do with a 1,200
pound waterbed, either. I swear I am not making this up. It's either
that, or her Pentium computer didn't shut down properly. Not sure
which.
Got Milk?
This has nothing to do with snorting your milk out your nose, but
it's worth a look anyway: http://www.got-milk.com/video/cartoncrafts.mov.
And no list of funny stuff would be complete without the All Time Funniest
Motivational Video of All Time (courtesy of the Joy of Tech, also
very funny in and of itself.)
Got a funny site you want to share? Well, find someone else to tell
about it, because I could really care less. (He yawns.)
