Hello Pundits!
Welcome to the Lite Side, where we're about to do our civic duty in
providing analogies to help you understand the difference between the
Mac OS and Windows.
I thought these things were old-school, tired analogies, but after
recent events in Sarasota, Florida, it's became apparent that certain
pundits (who shall remain nameless) need these analogies repeated
because they have no direct experience with Macs.
I wrote one of these hoary old analogies myself, If Cars Were Like Operating Systems, about two
years ago. I urge our friends in Florida to copy it into an email and
send it to the Powers That Be to help them comprehend why we like
Macs.
Anyway, I thought I'd toss a few more analogies into the mix to help
you understand why we "fanatics" are frustrated with your fumbling of
this fundamental issue.
Aimed at Pundits: Having a pundit tell a teacher to switch to
Windows when the teacher is a Mac specialist is like...
- having a pundit tell a surgeon to use a pair of baby scissors to
cut open a chest in preparation for heart surgery because baby scissors
are cheaper than scalpels.
- having a pundit tell a mechanic to install an engine that doesn't
fit in your car because those engines are cheaper and exist on the
majority of cars on the road. (It's a no-brainer!)
- having a pundit tell a farmer to use a hoe to prepare his field
because hoes are cheaper, and not many people own tractors.
- having a pundit tell a contractor to install all plastic pipe in a
house because it is cheaper than the copper pipe you were thinking of
using.
- having a pundit tell a jockey that riding a donkey would be better
than riding a thoroughbred because donkeys are cheaper.
Old Standards
Macs are like BMWs. They don't have a large market share, but those
people who own them like them a lot.
Windows is like McDonald's. Popular does not always mean best.
New Ones
Windows is like a housing development where all the houses are
variants of about four basic designs. One day, a Mac user tries to
build a geodesic dome in the neighborhood, but he is denied a building
permit from the city despite the fact that domes are more earthquake
resistant, energy efficient, and when all the interior parts are
installed, not much more expensive than a regular house with the same
features.
Buying Windows is like buying tires that don't quite fit your car.
They're cheap, but sooner or later they're going to cause you to
crash.
Windows is like going to the grocery store for food and finding
everything on the shelf is some variant of bologna. You'd like to get
some steak, but it's too expensive, and you have to mail order it or go
out of town to get it. You know people who can eat steak, and you're
jealous. You decide to ask for steak, but you're told by the police
waiting to escort you home that you're only allowed to buy bologna even
though you would pay for steak yourself if you were allowed to have
it.
Macs are like rap music. Not everyone likes it, but there's a
definite niche market for it. Some people try to mimic it but don't do
it very well. Other kinds of music are being influenced by it but are
not allowed to admit that rap has an influence. Everything bad that
happens is blamed on it.
Windows users are like that guy you meet at a party who dominates
every conversation and speaks in a no-nonsense, folksy way (sort of
like Bill O'Reilly) so no matter what he says it seems to make perfect
sense. He tells you that if you were smart, you would support drilling
in Alaska because there's big money to be made, and your idea of using
wind power is nice but just not practical for the majority of
people.
Windows is like the English system of measurement. Everyone you know
uses it, no one knows it really well (what's a rod?), and those people
who suggest we should switch to metrics (Mac OS) because it is better
are considered to be unrealistic and naive.
Windows is like pop music. Everyone would rather listen to something
else, but it's the only thing playing on the radio. Some people claim
to like it, and we all respect their opinion, because it's politically
incorrect and not nice to make fun of stupid people.
"Architects cannot learn to design grand cathedrals if they are
taught all their drawing courses using only an Etch-a-Sketch because
the company struck a deal with the university." (One of a series of
security related analogies from this excellent
page detailing analogies by Dr. Gene Spafford.)
Another from the same site: "...you buy a car and say that you don't
care if it is made of cardboard or has any brakes, so long as it is
cheap."
Send along your favorite analogy comparing Macs to Windows, and
we'll post 'em here. You know the drill: If you send it, I can post it,
and if you don't want your name and/or email attached, you have to say
so.
P.S. It's time for your weekly reminder to send a note to Rich
Brooks in Sarasota, asking when is he going to actually (a) use a Mac
and (b) visit a classroom using Macs and try to "improve" it.
