My ill-advised and short-lived campaign to
rename the iPod mini the miniPod came to an abrupt end when several
readers pointed out that there is already a product called the miniPod
- some bulbous looking speaker gizmos
that look like they may have been organically extruded.
That and the fact that only Jack Miller and I think it's a good idea
anyway sort of killed the whole endeavor.
Aaaaanyway, my random thoughts led me to consider a whole new
problem that needs solving: iPod mini lingo. That's right, users of the
new gizmo will need special terminology to make them feel like they're
part of a new, hip crowd.
I'm only too glad to oblige, and I thereby present the Lite
Side's
Guide to iPod mini Lingo
iPod many: What Apple wants you to buy.
iPod Mimi: An iPod painted with garish fluorescent
colors.
iPod Mickey: When Pixar completes its plan for World
Domination® by overwhelming Disney, the mouse will be engraved on
the iPod's case.
iPod people: A person who uses an iPod, mini or
otherwise.
iPoodle: MP3 player shaped like a small, annoying dog.
iPod mimic: MP3 player knockoff which is looks sorta kinda
like an iPod mini.
iPod mummi: A person who wants to be buried with their iPod
when they die.
iPod muffi: A person who selects the color of iPod solely to
match the color of their shoes.
iPod mufti: A uniform with a special pocket to hold your iPod
mini.
iPod fluffi: A fuzzy iPod mini case.
iPod hefti: The non-mini iPod.
iPod crafti: Oh, the things you'll do to get an iPod
mini.
iPod sexi: Somehow, you look a little hotter when wearing
your iPod mini on your arm.
iPod deli: Special iPod discounts given by local
delicatessens.
iPod heli: Small remote control iPod helicopter carrier, used
to broadcast signals over a large stadium.
iPod smelli: Don't carry your iPod in your underwear.
iPod realli: What you say to people who ask, "Is that really
an iPod mini?"
iPod Willi: What the janitor at Springfield Elementary
listens to.
iPod Freddi: What the kid about to be slashed in a horror
movie is listening to.
iPod heavy: When you owe the neighborhood protection agency
for the iPod you bought, this is the guy they send to collect.
iPod snotti: How everyone else acts when they want you to
think the don't really want an iPod mini like yours.
iPod snappi: When someone is angry at the long shipping delay
before your new iPod mini arrives, this is how they speak to the
customer rep.
iPod silli: How I'd act if Apple gave me an iPod mini for
writing this article 
