Seems like Apple keeps cranking out new switcher ads. Over here at
the Lite Side, we can't resist reporting on the switchers we meet down
the street at that bar located at 4 Hyperbola Way, 'cuz they're just so
funny.
Don't get us wrong - we like the switcher ads. We really do! And if
you don't believe us now, you sure will after you read the Lite
Side's
Still Yet Even More Rejected Switcher Ads
Dear Apple,
Alonzo Deefendorf has eliminated seventeen of his rivals through the
use of strong-arm tactics. Your mission, should you choose to accept
it, is to eliminate Deefendorf using your IMF team. As usual, the
Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your activities. Good luck.
This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
Dear Apple,
I'd rather fight than switch.
Sincerely,
The Marlboro Man
Dear MAC,
I would like to switch to MAC from Microsoft, but I don't know where
to get your computers. I heard they were the same as APPLES, but I
thought APPLE had gone out of business years ago. Do you have a PENTIUM
in your MAC? Does your MAC come with WINDOWS? I heard a MAC can't use a
two button mouse. What is a two button mouse, and when will you offer
one?
Sincerely,
Nate "Eighty-Six" Wharburton
Dear Apple,
It's too late for me, my son. Yes . . . yes
. . . I sense the presence of another Steve . . . a
hidden Steve . . . your partner! Your feelings for the early
days of the company have betrayed you. Now you must join me or die.
Darth Vader
Dear Apple,
Help you I will.
Yoda
Dear Apple,
I'm just a regular guy. I'm not very photogenic....
[remainder of content deleted by Apple email filtering system]
Dear Apple,
Software is irrelevant. Ease of use is irrelevant. Hardware is
irrelevant. Digital hubs are irrelevant. Style is irrelevant. Loyalty
is irrelevant. Your technology and your unique characteristics will be
switched back to Windows.
Resistance is futile.
The Borg
Dear Apple,
Had enough? Not dead yet, you say? I've lopped off your arms! You've
got no legs! What do you mean, you're not dead yet?
Arthur
King of the Britons
wielder of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
Dear Apple,
That MacIntosh is bitter, lad. Have one of these fine Tremletts's
Bitter, Chisel Jersey, Hauxapfel, or Frequin Rouges.
Sincerely,
Angus Orchard
Dear Apple,
My brother uses a MAC. But I could never afford one. Finally, he
gave me his old one when he had to throw out all his old Mac stuff
because he got tired of having to buy new stuff every six months just
to keep his computer working the way it used to. Now I have a MAC, but
he has a PC. Does this qualify me as a Switcher, so I can be on TV and
get rich?
Penniless in Pennsylvania
Dear Apple,
If I do commercials for you, will you give me a computer that
works?
Sincerely,
Steven the Dell Dude
