The Lite Site has obtained the full text of the Microsoft
"Tsunami" memo, in which the Software Architect describes the new
strategy his company must follow in the future.
Dear Microsoft Partners and Employees,
I am writing to tell you about a some new initiatives here at
Microsoft, one of which I call "Trustworthy Computing." We have a
responsibility and a duty to meet the needs of our customers. As you
know, we've suffered several embarrassing lapses in recent months,
particularly after the rollout of Windows XP. This new initiative,
which seeks to make our products secure and safe to use, will hereby
become a greater priority than anything else we do - including
adding new features or acquiring new products.
When we face a choice between adding features and resolving
security issues, we need to choose security. Our products should
emphasize security right out of the box. This initiative is more
important than any other part of our work. If we don't do this,
people simply won't be willing - or able - to take advantage of all
the other great work we do. The events of this past year reminded
every one of us how important it is to ensure the integrity and
security of our critical infrastructure, whether it's the airlines or
computer systems.
Users should be in control of how their data is used. It should be
easy for users to specify appropriate use of their information
including controlling the use of email they send.
The second new initiative I'd like to discuss is called "Homegrown
Computing." What we'd like to see here is a real emphasis on
developing software internally. In the past, you've been asked to
pitch new software just like Hollywood pitches a new movie. Phrases
like, "It's just like iMovie, only for Windows," "It's just like
QuickTime with Attention Deficit Disorder," "It's like Netscape on
steroids," and "They have a mouse, too, but ours has more buttons,"
must no longer be used in product proposals. I am expecting an entire
paragraph on the unique features of each product proposed.
The third major initiative is called "Competitive Computing." In
the past, we've attempted to assist many smaller, independent
companies by providing funding, accounting services, leadership,
shipping and receiving, and office facilities in exchange for their
undivided attention. In the future, instead of these cooperative
arrangements with many of our smaller brethren, the difficult
financial situation we face today forces us to simply eliminate such
companies from the marketplace by direct competition. We will
continue our practice of absorbing nascent market share in emerging
markets by integrating new concepts into our operating systems -
only after such features have been fully security tested, of course.
In the meantime we will agressively compete using the products we
have in hand. Much like the scientific community at the end of the
19th century, we find ourselves in a quandry because everything has
already been invented.
Finally, we've done an internal study on the costs of the .Net
project and have decided that the accounting costs associated with
repeated charges for upgrades and reactivations will not cover our
expenses for accountants, and so I've decided we should also being a
new push for "Low-Maintenance Cost Accounting Computing," where
customers - now get this, this is really good - pay for software
once. Just once. That's a new concept for us, and it'll take some
getting used to. But I am sure the employees of Microsoft are up to
the challenge.
Next week, senior account managers will meet with Mr. Ballmer in
the theatre for more details about each of these initiatives. He
promises the presentation will be "invigorating and active."
Finally, there is no truth to the scurrilous rumor that the plant
in my office is an alien clone-making pod. It is merely a large South
American plant someone I used to work with decided I would like to
have. You can some see for yourself, any time. Just make sure you
come in one at a time, as the plant doesn't like crowds.
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