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The Lite Side

More Microsoft Blunders

- 2002.04.15

How many blunders can one megalopoly endure? First it was dead people writing in support of the Redmond juggernaut, and the next thing you know Microsoft is hosting an anti-Unix web site on a Unix server. Presented here for efficiency's sake are some prefabricated (emphasis on the fabricated) errors we're likely to see Microsoft make, courtesy of the Lite Side.

10. Microsoft reveals that corporate budgets are written in Lotus Notes

9. Scott Adams reveals that Microsoft was his inspiration for the Dilbert comic strip, suggesting that Windows bugs are written by programmers seeking bonuses for eliminating them

8. Bill Gates tries to hide a flat panel iMac in his mansion during Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous by throwing hot-chili-pepper motif cooking apron over it

7. Steve Ballmer's dance class payments are intercepted due to a security hole in IIS.

6. Microsoft Corp refuses Hotmail accounts to former President Nixon's family because it believes Nixon is a new variant of Unix

5. MSN employees routinely docked pay for giving solutions to problems poorly documented in online help files.

4. It turns out Enron actually had plenty of money but was trying to run their business off of old copy of Microsoft Money.

3. Hotmail server drops site domain registration two years running.

2. Fox News reports Geraldo was navigating using a GPS connected to a PocketPC.

1. Bill Gates loses access to corporate network during COMDEX presentation due to failure to register his "backup office copy " of Windows XP.

Recent Lite Sides

You Might Be a Computer Geek If..., 06.17. 20 signs that you just might possibly be a computer geek.
What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
More in the The Lite Side index.

Links for the Day

Mac of the Day: 12" 'dual USB' iBook 500, May 2001 - This compact, squared off, all-white, 500 MHz iBook was nicknamed the iceBook.
Group of the Day: Unsupported OS X is for those using OS X on unsupported hardware.
November 4 in LEM history: 99: Mac user for a month - Home Page lives - 'I' in iMac for inferior? - 02: Why don't Macs come with RAID? - 05: Aluminum not so hot for PowerBooks - Fixing broken a power tip - Das Keyboard
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Best Mac Pro Deals, 11.03. Used 2.66 GHz 4-core, $1,300; 3.0 8-core. $2,299; refurb 2.66 4-core Nehalem, $2,149; 2.93, $2,549; 2.26 8-core, $2,799; 2.93, $4,999.
Best iPhone Deals, 11.03. New 8 GB iPhone 3G, $$99; refurb 16 GB 3GS, $149; new, $199; 32 GB, $299.
Best 12" PowerBook G4 Deals, 11.03. Used 867 MHz SperDrive, $348; 1 GHz, $499; 1.33 Combo, $298; SD, $559; 1.5 Combo, $448; SuperDrive, $589.
Best Power Mac G3 and PCI Video Card Deals, 11.02. Used beige 300 MHz, $25; G4/366, $49; blue & white 350, $80; 400, $90; 450, $105; PCI video cards from $15; shipping additional.
Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 11.02. Used 400 MHz, $50; 733 MHz, $69; 933 MHz, $209; 1.25 GHz dual, $299.
Best 15" MacBook Pro Deals, 11.02. Used 2.0 GHz, $800; 2.2, $900; 2.4, $1,000; refurb 2.53, $1,449; 2.66, $1,699; 2.8, $1,949; 3.06, $2,169; new 2.53, $1,579; 2.66, $1,799; more.
Best Mac mini Deals, 10.30. Used 1.33 GHz G4 mini, $379; 1.42, $389; 1.5, $419; 1.83 GHz Core Duo, $350; Core 2, $439; new 2.26 GHz nVidia, $580; 2.53 GHz, $770; Server, $990.
Best G4 iBook Deals, 10.30. Used 12" 1.07 GHz Combo, $225; 1.33 GHz, $298; 14" 1 GHz, $349; 1.33 GHz, $398; 1.42 GHz SuperDrive, $498.
Best Classic Mac OS Deals, 10.30. System 6.0.8 floppies, $10; 7.1, $12; 7.5, $20; 7.5 CD, $4; 7.6 $13; 8.1, $11; 8.5, $20; 8.6, $90; 9.0, $20; 9.2.2, $30.
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