The Lite Side

Apple Discloses Entire OS Upgrade Code-Name Lineup

- 2002.09.10

We all know how Apple hates rumors. One way to fight rumors is to not have any secrets. One way not to have secrets is to send a secret memo to us, because we'll publish it faster than you can say "style sheet" six times fast. (Don't try that in mixed company.)

Thus with great relish - and just a touch of Grey Poupon - the Lite Side presents

Apple's OS Upgrade Code Name Lineup

OS

Code Name

Pronunciation

Notes

OS X 10.1 Puma "Poo-Ma"

OS X 10.2

Jagular

"Jagularwire"

This update will knock your socks off.

OS X 10.2.1

Tigger

"Tigularwire"

This unfortunate update will not only crash your computer, it trashes your house as well.

OS X 10.2.1.3.45.3.2.1

Felix

"The CatWire"

Rarely seen, and not very good once you finally do see it.

OS X 10.2.1.5

Morris

"Finickiwire"

For some reason, you turn your nose up at this update.

OS X 10.3

Garfield

"Garwire"

This update kicks Odie's butt.

OS X 10.333

Tom

"n-Jerrwire"

This update works by dropping an anvil on your head.

OS X 10.41

Sylvester

"n-Tweetwire"

This one gives you a taste of features you will never have.

OS X 10.5

Top Cat

"Wire you doin' that, fella?"

This update makes you move along, nothing to see here...

(Close personal friends of Steve get to call 10.5 "T.C.")

OS X 10.6

Steve Martin

"Catjugularwire"

Yes, we intended that as a masterful triple-level-pun. Enjoy.

OS X 10.ca1966

Catwoman

"Batwire"

Install this update and POW! your system crashes.

OS X 10.8

Bast

"Pyramidwire"

This update causes some ancient deity to rise up and erase your hard drive.

OS X 10.9

Silicone Valley

"BarbWire"

You say con, I say cone; this update fixes both.

After OS X, the term "operating system" will fall into disfavor, replaced with the now commonly used noun "wire." Faced with naming an operating system "Wirewire," Apple will drop the entire code-name-that-really-is-a-marketing-tool gimmick altogether.

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