The Lite Side

What to Do with the Unemployed Gateway Cow

- 2002.12.10

Steve, the "Dude, you're getting a Dell" guy, isn't the only Windows PC spokesperson to get the ax recently. Gateway is also retiring their cows.

Now that Gateway has decided to abandon its Spotted Cow motif and move on to a splat-shaped logo (henceforth known as the Gateway Cow Pie Power Button Logo™), there's really no more need for the cow that has been the mainstay of Gateway's advertising for years. Gateway Profile What are they going to do with it? Here are some ideas . . . no charge, courtesy of the Lite Side.

Put it out to pasture along with the Gateway Profile.
One word: hamburger.
Two words: cow tipping.
Oakland, CA petting zoo could use more farm animals.
That ain't Corinthian leather you're sitting on, pal.
Another word: steak.
Got Milk commercial . . . send it wandering down Main Street of Biggs, California and wait for someone to freak out.
Leave it in the principal's office as a senior prank.
Milk it. Turn milk into cheese. Make large flat round cheese wheel, with tiny holes which can be read by a laser. Voilà, the Gateway Cheese Drive.
From cow pies produced, generate methane to heat Gateway Country Store and create new corporate logos on demand.

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