The Lite Side

Apple's Market Share Drops to One

- 2003.01.28

Apple Computer has apparently decided that its strategy of targeting high-end consumers instead of the mass market has so completely dominated the company's thinking that they have decided to go even further, according to sources.

"They've raised the price of a Mac to eleven billion dollars, if you can believe that," according to analysts at Steamroom, ReVolvo, and Hyde. "They apparently think they have a customer lined up, and with this single sale they will produce a balance sheet that is decidedly in the black."

The customer's name has not been revealed, but sources close to the company say it is probably Prince Al Waleed Bin Talal Bin Abdul Aziz, who has invested in Apple Computer stock in the past. Phone calls to the Prince were not returned aside from a spokesperson who said, "Get lost."

Consequently, analysts claim that Apple's market share will likely fall to one - one computer, not one percent.

"This gives Apple a 0.000000035 percent market share of the worldwide computer market," according to Laudlin Gridley, a writer for pcmarketsharetrackerthatcannottrackmacs.com. "Clearly, they've abandoned the consumer market and are going for a niche in the Prince's front foyer."

A spokesman for Apple computer could not be reached for content but indicated in a voice mail that with savings from layoffs associated with the divestiture of most of Apple's manufacturing facilities, Apple expects to pull a profit this year. "We've got a year to come up with an upgrade worthy of another eleven billion dollars," said the spokesperson. "We think we can pull it off with color-changing computers - excuse me, a color-changing computer - that doubles as torchiere lamp."

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