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The Lite Side
Seven Customized Browsers Reshape the Web Experience
- 2003.02.25
The recent release of the "Bork" version of Opera is intended to show users that not only can site hosts such as MSN can target users with discrimination. Browsers can discriminate, too. Opera's new browser (a version for Windows only) displays MSN in "Swedish Chef" dialect.* This leads to all sorts of customization potential for browsers of all types. We'd like to get the ball rolling here at the Lite Side with
- * To translate almost any page on the Web into Swedish Chef, redneck, or other dialects, use The Dialectizer.
Customized Browser Options Inspired by Opera Bork
1. Wil Wheaton browser for Apple laptops running Linux: Presents three different versions of the same site in three separate windows. You pick another browser altogether and send the Wil browser away, promising to call its agent later.
2. "Resistance is futile" browser, based on Safari, detects when you visit a website hosted on a Microsoft IIS machine and runs an audio clip of the Borg inviting themselves to dinner prior to opening any window on the site.
3. Right wing Republican browser, based on Internet Explorer, inserts one of the terms "communist," "socialist," "left-wing," (and several others not suitable for a family site) in front of every noun it finds on the site before rendering. Thus "Protesters jam New York streets," becomes "Left wing Protestors jam socialist New York communist streets." Runs only on Windows 1950. Oddly, the effect does not get applied to users visiting Fox News, as it is redundant.
4. Elmo-cize your favorite kid sites with a new browser based on iCab. Visitors to any children's website get an animated Elmo who reads all the text in that annoying, cloying, 120 decibel voice that just pierces your brain like a hot stiletto through the ear. Luckily, the new Elmo version only runs when a plug-in you don't have is installed.
5. Educator's Politically Correct browser translates all text into educationalese. For example, "Handicapped students demand better access to school library to help them learn more" becomes "Physically challenged students request ADA-compliant entryway in the Media Center to provide access to standards-based resources necessary to perform at proficient levels on state assessment." Runs on both Mac and Windows. Based on Netscape Navigator 3.x, because as everyone knows schools are years behind the real world.
6. Ethically Correct Lynx browser for 68K Macs not only renders everything in black and white but also classifies each site as Good or Evil. Good is text compliant, and Evil requires some obnoxious plug-in just to read the site.
7. Lite Side Lurker browser links every computer news item you read to the corresponding article in the Lite Side archive and posts that in a banner at the top of every page. Since it is based on IE, it also sends your credit card information to Microsoft every time you buy something (but, hey, that's not my fault), where it will be subjected to Microsoft's secure computing battery of tests.
Recent Lite Sides
- You Might Be a Computer Geek If..., 06.17. 20 signs that you just might possibly be a computer geek.
- What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
- How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
- iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
- More in the The Lite Side index.
Links for the Day
- Mac of the Day: 17" iMac G4/800 MHz, July 2002 - The iMac 'grows up' with a 17" 1440 x 900 display.
- Group of the Day: LisaList supports Lisa users.
- November 8 in LEM history: 99: OS 9: I think I like it - 01: The simplified Mac life - Soured on Windows - Flea market Mac - 02: Little room for improvement in new 'Books - Combo drive upgrade for iceBooks - 04: Re-Porter - 05: Fix the old iMac or buy a Mac mini? - Apple's Copland project - 06: MacBook Core 2 - MacBook value equation - Cheap is as cheap does - 07: Problems with Classic mode in Tiger - The G4 Power Mac that won't run Leopard
- Support Low End Mac
Recent Content on Low End Mac
- Quad-Core CPU Makes Sense in MacBook Pro, OS X 10.6 Causing Overheating, Overseas Power, and More, The 'Book Review, 11.06. Also Late 2009 MacBook reviewed, how to add RAM to new MacBook, 18.4in Acer notebook used Intel i7, and SanDisk SSD chosen for Sony VAIO X.
- Dumping Macs for Google Apps, SSD in iMac, Late 2009 iMac Performance Problems, and More, Mac News Review, 11.06. /newsrev/09mnr/1106.html
- WiFi Paranoia, iMac-O-Lantern, Magic Mouse Does Click, Free Clipboard Managers, and More, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 11.05. Also strange time stamps, problem with ColorIt on Intel Mac, and the story behind OS X 10.5.4 install discs.
- IDE Is Dead; Long Live SATA!, Dan Knight, Mac Musings, 11.04. SATA has displaced parallel ATA. While IDE hard drives haven't disappeared, the best deals are in SATA hard drives.
- QuickTime X in Snow Leopard Imports, Trims, and Publishes Video Quickly and Easily, Alan Zisman, Zis Mac, 11.04. The long, slow process of importing video into iMovie to edit it, then render it to another format, is history as QuickTime X does that much more quickly.
- More links in our archive.
Recent Deals
- Best Mac Pro Deals, 11.03. Used 2.66 GHz 4-core, $1,300; 3.0 8-core. $2,299; refurb 2.66 4-core Nehalem, $2,149; 2.93, $2,549; 2.26 8-core, $2,799; 2.93, $4,999.
- Best iPhone Deals, 11.03. New 8 GB iPhone 3G, $$99; refurb 16 GB 3GS, $149; new, $199; 32 GB, $299.
- Best 12" PowerBook G4 Deals, 11.03. Used 867 MHz SperDrive, $348; 1 GHz, $499; 1.33 Combo, $298; SD, $559; 1.5 Combo, $448; SuperDrive, $589.
- Best Power Mac G3 and PCI Video Card Deals, 11.02. Used beige 300 MHz, $25; G4/366, $49; blue & white 350, $80; 400, $90; 450, $105; PCI video cards from $15; shipping additional.
- Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 11.02. Used 400 MHz, $50; 733 MHz, $69; 933 MHz, $209; 1.25 GHz dual, $299.
- Best 15" MacBook Pro Deals, 11.02. Used 2.0 GHz, $800; 2.2, $900; 2.4, $1,000; refurb 2.53, $1,449; 2.66, $1,699; 2.8, $1,949; 3.06, $2,169; new 2.53, $1,579; 2.66, $1,799; more.
- Best Mac mini Deals, 10.30. Used 1.33 GHz G4 mini, $379; 1.42, $389; 1.5, $419; 1.83 GHz Core Duo, $350; Core 2, $439; new 2.26 GHz nVidia, $580; 2.53 GHz, $770; Server, $990.
- Best G4 iBook Deals, 10.30. Used 12" 1.07 GHz Combo, $225; 1.33 GHz, $298; 14" 1 GHz, $349; 1.33 GHz, $398; 1.42 GHz SuperDrive, $498.
- Best Classic Mac OS Deals, 10.30. System 6.0.8 floppies, $10; 7.1, $12; 7.5, $20; 7.5 CD, $4; 7.6 $13; 8.1, $11; 8.5, $20; 8.6, $90; 9.0, $20; 9.2.2, $30.
- More deals in our archive.
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