The recent release of the "Bork" version of
Opera is intended to show users that not only can site hosts
such as MSN can target users with discrimination. Browsers can
discriminate, too. Opera's new browser (a version for Windows only)
displays MSN in "Swedish Chef" dialect.* This leads to all sorts of
customization potential for browsers of all types. We'd like to get the
ball rolling here at the Lite Side with
- * To translate almost any page on the Web into Swedish Chef,
redneck, or other dialects, use The Dialectizer.
Customized Browser Options Inspired by Opera Bork
1. Wil Wheaton browser for Apple laptops running Linux:
Presents three different versions of the same site in three separate
windows. You pick another browser altogether and send the Wil browser
away, promising to call its agent later.
2. "Resistance is futile" browser, based on Safari, detects
when you visit a website hosted on a Microsoft IIS machine and runs an
audio clip of the Borg inviting themselves to dinner prior to opening
any window on the site.
3. Right wing Republican browser, based on Internet Explorer,
inserts one of the terms "communist," "socialist," "left-wing," (and
several others not suitable for a family site) in front of every noun
it finds on the site before rendering. Thus "Protesters jam New York
streets," becomes "Left wing Protestors jam socialist New York
communist streets." Runs only on Windows 1950. Oddly, the effect does
not get applied to users visiting Fox News, as it is
redundant.
4. Elmo-cize your favorite kid sites with a new browser based
on iCab. Visitors to
any children's website get an animated Elmo who reads all the text in
that annoying, cloying, 120 decibel voice that just pierces your brain
like a hot stiletto through the ear. Luckily, the new Elmo version only
runs when a plug-in you don't have is installed.
5. Educator's Politically Correct browser translates all text
into educationalese. For example, "Handicapped students demand better
access to school library to help them learn more" becomes "Physically
challenged students request ADA-compliant entryway in the Media Center
to provide access to standards-based resources necessary to perform at
proficient levels on state assessment." Runs on both Mac and Windows.
Based on Netscape Navigator 3.x, because as everyone knows schools are
years behind the real world.
6. Ethically Correct Lynx browser for 68K Macs not only
renders everything in black and white but also classifies each site as
Good or Evil. Good is text compliant, and Evil requires some obnoxious
plug-in just to read the site.
7. Lite Side Lurker browser links every computer news item
you read to the corresponding article in the Lite Side archive and
posts that in a banner at the top of every page. Since it is based on
IE, it also sends your credit card information to Microsoft every time
you buy something (but, hey, that's not my fault), where it will be
subjected to Microsoft's secure computing battery of tests.
